(Jenessy's journal)
November 01, 2015
10:33 PM
Today, we went to his mother's grave - kay Marcielita Madrigal. Kasama namin ang mga trolls, si Helga, si Danica na date ni Jeric at kahit si Artie. Nagluto ako ng dadalhing pagkain sa sementeryo. May dinala rin si Jeric.
Malaki yung mausoleo ng Mommy ni Marcus. May rebulto ng angel sa loob. May upuan at mesa. May generator din kaya may ilaw kami kanina. Yung mga bulaklak, umaga pa lang, dinala na namin ni Marcus.
Nagdasal kaming lahat dun. Yung mga trolls, kung magkwento pagkatapos, parang buhay pa si Tita. Isinasama sa trolling nila. Ako, I didn't know what to say. Tamang kinig lang ako at serve ng pagkain. But in my head, ang dami ko nang nasabi kay Tita.
If she's still alive, she would have seen how Marcus seemed so mature for his age. Maybe that's what suffering brings us - maturity. A shift in the perspective. A wake-up call that our lives is more than just about taking chances, letting chances pass or waiting for another chance to come up. It's more than just looking at people by their age, their preferences, their social status or how awesome they are with crowds. It's more than just what is visible to the naked eye.
Base sa mga naririnig kong kakulitan ni Marcus noon, he matured a whole lot. Kahit sa pagtrato niya pa lang sa kin, it shows. Clingy siya pero lagi niya kong nire-remind ng school works kahit masama raw ang loob niya. Kahit kapag nasa bahay siya gaya ng gusto ni Nanay, kapag may academic papers kaming kailangang gawin, nakatutok siya sa laptop niya at nakatutok ako sa computer ko. Nagsisilipan lang kami para magngitian. Minsan, nagpapaturo ako sa kanya o nakiki-brainstorm sa analysis o nag-uusap kami ng mga theories para lang may interaction kami. Isang beses, nagbitbit siya ng pusa para sa dissection class ko. It was both funny and weird to have him carry something like that for me. Pero ang epic.
Mas nagustuhan siya ni Nanay dahil nakikitang nag-aaral kami at hindi laging magkatabi. Mas nakaka-inspire din gawin yung tasks ko sa school, knowing that he will be cheering on for me.
Sinabi ko rin yun sa Daddy niya nung nasa Pangasinan kami. That Marcus influences me to do better and to be confident. That Marcus pushes me to do more for my dream of becoming a doctor. Kaso, hindi naman nagsalita nung naglakas-loob ako. Ngumiti lang.
Pero yung Mommy niya, sigurado akong proud na proud sa kanya. He matured magnificently. Nakakabaliw nga minsan kasi ang ideal niya. But maybe, pain does that to him.
He knows what to do to make me stay because he almost has no one for himself. Kaya siguro ang effort niya sa kin. Kaya siguro ang clingy niya. Kaya siguro ang tamis niya na parang honey. Kaya siguro hindi siya maawat sa pagtawag ng Nanay kay Nanay.
Kaya nagpasalamat ako kanina kay Tita. She taught Marcus how to appreciate love. She taught Marcus the value of time. And she taught Marcus how to be this lovable Marcus - yung makulit na clingy na bully na possessive na worrier na troll na Mr. Intrams.
I felt him crying on the inside kanina. Nahiya sigurong umiyak nang tuluyan sa harap namin. I'm sure he misses his Mom a lot. I'm sure he has a lot of things to tell her, too. Sabi niya sa kin, kasama ako sa ikinuwento niya sa Mommy niya.
I also told his Mom that I'm falling more for her son. And if time will permit, I will continue to fall.
I will stay.
Time check, 11:19. Maya-maya, tatawag yun si MM para mag-goodnight.
It's nice... to have days to write about and tomorrow to look forward to. ♥
