Gone

Chapter 34 [Blaze] Needing Comfort *

"I'm probably not going to be here," I quickly rush out, her looking confused.

"But isn't Spencer coming back?"

I nod, realizing she's right. "Just leave a key under the mat. I need to go see someone."

"Juliana?" She questions, widely smiling as I shake my head and cross my arms.

"No," I honestly tell her. "I want to go see Mickey."

"But, wait. Where is Juliana?"

"Her mom came and got her," I carefully let out, not even giving a shit. "We kind of broke up."

"What?" She asks, raising her eyebrows as I deeply sigh. "But, you both looked so happy at the dinner table."

"Yeah, until she had to ruin everything and bring out the whipped cream," I snap, noticing her really confused eyes now. "Nevermind. My bad. But I'm going to Mickey's, okay?"

"I'll drive you," she offers, as I grin and slowly shake my head.

"Thanks, but I think I just need to breathe in the fresh air, and be alone," I say, her nodding and darting forward to hug me.

I hug her back and when she pulls away, I realize how happy she is. "I love you," she tells me, and before I can say anything back, she turns around and walks away.

Before I know it, I'm pulling back on my red beater, and my Yankees hoodie over it. And then I'm sitting still on my bed, dialing Mickey's number, hoping she'll answer. And when she does, I feel my heart start to race. She always knows how to make me feel better.

"What the F do you want?" She barks into the phone, as I say nothing. "Blaze? Blaze?!"

"Yeah, I'm here."

"What's up?" She softly asks me, as I shake my head and don't know what to even say. "Hello?"

"Yeah... I'm here."

"Well then why aren't you talking?"

I finally exhale, catching my breath, then making my way to my closet to pull out a shoe box, that's empty, hoping I still have some drugs inside of it. "I don't know what to say," I eventually tell her, deeply breathing out again.

"You're scaring me," she says into the phone, me opening the lid and getting pumped when I realize I still have a baggy full of weed inside, from maybe a month ago, or less. "Seriously, stop messing around with me right now. I'm having bad mood swings as it is."

"I'm sorry Mickey," I let out, closing my eyes and covering my face with my hand. "For getting you pregnant."

"It takes two to have sex," she sweetly states, but it makes me sick to my stomach.

"Knowing me, I probably forced it on you. And my bad for that," I rush out, hearing dead silence for a few seconds.

"Are you okay?" She sternly asks me as I deeply sigh again.

"I'm great," I lie, wanting to slam my head against the damn wall.

"Then why are you apologizing for screwing me?" Mickey questions, her tone actually making me want to laugh, but I can't. "You sort of rocked my world that night."

"I ruined both of our lives, that night," I argue, hearing her groan which gets me to shut up.

"Please don't say sorry for sleeping with me. Say sorry for calling me Juliana," she rushes out, as I feel my face turn completely red, a burning sensation taking over. "Woah... I did NOT mean for that to come out like that."

"I called you Juliana?" I ask, stunned, and fucking done. "I'm that big of an ass, that I called you by your best friend's name?"

"Blaze--"

"Nah. No way in hell am I letting that fly," I let out in anger, pacing around my room, trying to even out all of my breaths. I don't even want to breathe anymore. I screwed over my best friend.

"I still love you," Mickey tells me, and all I can do is sit back down on the end of my bed and try to keep my cool. "I'll always love you no matter what. You're my best friend, forever, through anything."

"I don't know how the hell you stand me. I really don't. I'm the most messed up dude..."

"What is going on with you? What happened? You aren't being yourself."

"I'm fine," I loudly state, hating how I'm lying to her, but I don't want anyone knowing about my dad. Not yet, anyways.  "I just called to ask you if I can come over."

"For what?" She asks me. "No offence, but won't your girlfriend get pissed off?"

"I don't have a girlfriend anymore," I quickly tell her. "And even if I did, I'd still want to come see you. I want to see you."

"Of course you do," she mutters, sounding like she doesn't believe me.

"I do, Mickey," I state, hating how painful this feeling is. "I can't be alone right now in this empty house. I need to have someone here with me. God that sounds so fking corny."

"Want me to go to yours?"

"No, no way. I'm coming to you. You just relax, and make sure the door is unlocked."

"Alright," she barely lets out. "I'm watching the Notebook."

"We're watching the Notebook," I cautiously state, and just knowing that she's smiling through the phone, lifts a lot of weight off my shoulders.

"And you're telling me what the hell is wrong with you," she orders, as I say nothing. "I'll be waiting."

"I'll be getting a ride from someone, and I'll be there."

"Am I seriously the only person you want to hang out with right now? I'm not fun. I can't drink or get high with you. I'm laying on the couch cuddled in blankets, for gods sake."

"I don't care if you can't do drugs with me. I'm not that much of a d**k."

"I didn't mean it like that," she says, laughing afterward. "Whatever. Just get over here-- And don't you dare hang up on me like you did last time we talked on the phone!" She practically rushes out of her mouth so fast that it spins my damn head.

"I'm not hanging up," I slowly tell her, waiting for her response. And it's not much.

"See you soon Blaze."

And this time, she's the one who hangs up first, because I knocked her up and she might be having my baby. This is still so hard for me, and I'm wondering if it's hard for her too. But she's a strong girl... Way stronger than anyone I've met before.

And that's why she's the one I need to see.