thin ; xiumin [one]

deux

he fell for her smile,
laugh,
personality.
not for her curves,
heart shaped face,
lips.
what he didn't know was that it was all fake.
one day
eun bi slammed me against the lockers
and i winced.
she laughed
but it was dripping with hate.
i looked down
but she grabbed my chin and forced my face upwards,
i avoided eye contact
but her eyes burned into my skull.
she told me
"you're only preventing xiumin from losing weight
because you don't want to be the fat friend in your friendship."
it wasn't only that,
it was because
i knew he would drift away
and he wouldn't like me anymore.
she said
"you're huge.
the evident stretch marks,
the rolls your stomach possess,
the way your thighs wobble,
down to your chubby cheeks that aren't cute at all,
need to be eradicated,
because he won't love you
if you're not thin."
i asked her
"how can i lose weight without being triggered to eat?"
she stared at me
as if i was joking.
"come to me,
i'll make sure
my insults
make you throw up
every piece of food
you have ever eaten
due to the guilt
of how overeating
has made you so unattractive."
it was the only time
she helped me.