His Flower ✔

Chapter 27

       "I know, Roza."

       "But she had to be great. Luce used to talk about her when I was younger. Dad never did, and neither of them do now." He was quiet as I rubbed my forehead against his chest and wrapped my arm around his back.

       "I used to wonder if things would have been different if she hadn't died. If I never would have went into the system, if we would have been this one big happy family. Would she have liked me?"

       Rex seemed tense as I squeezed him tightly and pressed my cheek into his hard chest. I was on a roll though. I couldn't stop now. Thoughts from years, and years ago flew through my mind in a busy blur.

       Would my mother had liked me? Would she have loved me like Luce said she loved her? Would she be able to keep my grandparents away? Dad wouldn't have been depressed. He wouldn't have given them the incentive to take me.

       That's when the darker thoughts began to fly through my head.

       Dad wouldn't have gone into that depression. Luce wouldn't have become so hard. They wouldn't have been able to do anything to me, if she was still alive. I wouldn't have gone through the years of excruciating pain that I did if she was still here.

       But, then again, what did that matter? I didn't really have an actual purpose here. Sure I had dad, and Luce, and even Rex, but they were my family, my friends... they weren't a purpose.

       They weren't a reason.

       Rex's body grew stiffer with each passing second. Like he could feel the thoughts that were running through my head.

       "She would still be alive, you know? If I was never born."

      "Rosalyn."

      I hadn't even realized the death grip Rex was holding my chin in, or the angle he had turned my face in until I opened my eyes and his dark orbs were staring daggers into mine.

      "Never, and I fucking mean, never talk like that again."

      "But I was just saying-"

       "I'm serious, Rosalyn. Stop." I frowned as he suddenly let go of my chin and ran his fingers roughly through his hair.

       "You have no fucking idea what- What I-" He licked his lips and closed his eyes as if his words hurt to speak them. I waited patiently as his grip around me loosened and he ran his hand down his face.

       "You have no fucking idea where I would be, who I would be, without you." He snapped his eyes opened and stared at me with such serious chestnut eyes that it made my chest ache.

       My frown deepened.

       "You would have been with the others, in Trey's music room, that you designed, arguing over bands and sport's teams." A smile so small and-and sad tugged on the corners of his lips as I blinked up at him in confusion.

       "No baby flower, I wouldn't be."

       My frown only deepened as he pulled me closer once again and kissed my forehead. "So don't say things like that. Don't think things like that, Roza." He kissed my temple as he scooped me back into his arms and cradled me once again to his chest.

       "Because you mean more to me than anything else has in a very long time."

       Tears entered my eyes for a whole other reason this time, and before I knew it I was wrapping my arms tightly around his waist and burying my face into his neck. The feel in my chest so strong that I couldn't find enough words to describe it. I wanted to lean up and tell him how much he meant to me, how much I loved him, but I couldn't.