Nothing hurts.
Why does nothing hurt?
It's the worst sensation out of them all. Out of crying and laughing and a broken leg, it's the numbness down to my very core that brands me with black.
The floor is cool against my cheek as I scream. It's a contrast to the burning water washing away makeup and sordid touches.
I'm so tempted to fall asleep, so tempted to blind out in this black hole, that my eyes close.
But the smell of blood starts me again. I sit up. What blood?
Your leg. Look at your leg. I realize that my leg is so much more than broken. There is a jagged scar running down, dripping blood and showing parts of muscle and bone.
This time, even I can't handle the pain and I slide to turn the water off. The towel is too far and it takes all my energy to barely reach for it.
I had nothing left. Why was I so ashamed? I had no innocence to hide from him.
"Damian." It's croaked. A chopped up cry. My voice doesn't want to form his name either.
They were both monsters.
The worst kind of pain, was knowing something, and waiting for the chips to fall as they may.
I knew who he was. What he did. Here I was, calling his name.
"Damian." I try another, and another. Soon it's a loud scream and it echoes.
I can feel the vibrations of his footsteps. Feel them. I know he's by the door before he opens it.
"Help." That's all it takes for him to come inside. I don't blush, don't hide my bared body, just stare frigidly at my leg, splayed at an awkward angle, and staining my fingers.
He doesn't even give me a second glance. It's as if the deal I've made isn't what he wants like two years ago. It's like my body doesn't arouse him anymore.
Like he doesn't want me.
And that doesn't hurt.
It's the look on his face. As though pitying an animal in pain- wanting to put it out of its misery, that burns.
He snatches a towel from a rack and comes closer. Timidly. Waiting for the animal to bite.
Is that how pathetically far I have made it?
To be an animal?
Far. I almost snicker, almost laugh again. But the memory of the feeling keeps my lips sealed.
Joy was searing. What made it better than pain? It was worse than any bitter emotion, because it was fleeting and consumed you heart first.
And then it got snatched away.
Like being clean when your body craved heroine.
Disastrous. Murderous.
Those are my thoughts as he bends and scoops me up like he did yesterday. And it feels the same.
Alluring.
Disastrous. Murderous.
Warm.
Absolutely and utterly warm.
The towel is draped over my front, by his hands are on my bare back and legs. Unfazed.
The Damian I remember would take me over the sink, even in my pain.
Has he changed or had I seen wrong?
Had I been too used to cruelty to accept courtesy?
His steps are light, like a predator stepping to it's prey.
YOU ARE READING
Embers (Burn #1)
Romance{On Hiatus for Rewrite} "What did he do to you?" "Everything he did to you and worse," I hiss, nails digging into my skin. The words are thrown out in desperation, a hook to dig into his skin like he drove into me. He erased Cole. I had wanted that...
Chapter Four; Stitches
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