The Exchange

Chapter Twenty Four || For You I Will

"Raegan!" I shouted as I took off running towards them by now. I could hear Lauren calling my name, but my mind was far from her calls. "Raegan, baby!" I said as I grabbed the little girl's shoulder turning her around just that quickly where the ice cream fell out of her hand. It was then I was slapped in the face with reality as I was looking in the face of a little girl that wasn't mine. She immediately started to cry at her fallen ice cream cone as she stared at me in horror and fright, but it was the complete opposite from the woman who I assumed was her mother.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" She snapped as she quickly pulled her child away and rushed off from me. I sighed and fell to my knees as my hands were frozen in place as if I was still touching her shoulder.

"I'm sorry, I thought it was ...." I trailed off, it wasn't like she was hearing me anyway. A feeling of defeat washed over me as I sat on the ground completely and then felt Lauren right at my side. I wanted to cry again, but they wouldn't even come out. I'd cried so much until I was sure that my eyes were bloodshot. I thought I had cried a lot when I left Raemond, but this was ten times that at this point. My mind was all over the place and I did not even know what to do with myself. I couldn't even cry, so Lauren helped me up and we headed back up the road.

"It's okay Kam, let's just go." Lauren instructed me and I could only nod my head as I found the strength to just go with her. We went to her car and she drove us both back over to my house where my mom and KJ was. I didn't bother to say anything to anybody as I headed up the stairs of my home and straight for my bedroom. I'd noticed my mom sorting through something and KJ on the sofa with his head in his hands, but I didn't care to even ask right now. I had enough on my plate already as it was.

I headed into the adjoining bathroom and just closed and locked the door behind me. I put my back up against the door and slid down until my butt his the tiled bathroom floor. I brought my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them as I rested my head onto them. I didn't know where to go from here, I just prayed that G had a much more productive day than I had. I had just embarrassed myself, the woman probably thinks I'm a crazy woman or something, well that's exactly what I was without her, a mad black woman with a mission.

I held my tears in as long as I could before sobbing for the millionth time. I had held it together all morning at first, but this unsuccessful venture only made my mind go back into a negative mode. I keep trying to remain a calm and collected mother that has faith in God, but in my opinion that too was wearing thin. I knew he would make a way for me, but I didn't know how long I could wait on her to return, I could only imagine her pain right now.

As I sat on the floor crying, my phone vibrated inside of my pocket. I reached for it and looked to see that it was G calling me. I answered with the quickness and held it up to my ear in hopes of good news. It felt like I'd been holding my breath until he spoke, but when he did the only word that came out was my name.

"Kam," he called after I didn't say anything. I remained quiet as I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. All of the tears had come to a halt for a moment as I tried my best to prepare my mind for what he would say. After I didn't say anything, he continued to talk. "Kam, baby I know all of this got yo head gone right now, but I need you to talk to me, aight? I'm tryin' my best to do all that I can to get Raegan back, you know that." He said and I  sighed as I opened my eyes and felt the pain in me. He hadn't found her, it killed me inside too.

"I know and I thank you so much for this G." I said in a low whisper as another single tear fell from my eye and I wiped it all away quickly like someone was watching me. I was beginning to get angry at myself for crying, but at this point I couldn't even help it anymore. It just came out of nowhere.