Chapter 12

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When I get to the lake. It's dark. I find a big rock and hold it over me. Finally over. No more pain, no more suffering, no more anything. I'm done. Goodbye mom, dad, Sarah, Kayla, Joseph, Rubie, Shelby, everyone. I drop the rock over me and I'm underwater. I feel as life is leaving me. I lay there. Everything getting darker, and darker, and darker.... Goodbye.

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I wake up, mad as ever. Who saved me?! I didn't want to be saved. I glance at the Iv in my arm, the Sarah, who looks relieved. Anger rushes in me. "Why did you save me?!" I ask. "Vile, why did you try to leave me?" I shake my head. "I don't want to be saved, obviously! I don't need you to do crap like this! I need you to take care of Kayla!"  "Vile, why did you try to commit suicide?"  I throw my hands up. "Because I failed God, I failed him. I made so many mistakes and I just, God hates me ok!" I began to cry and she runs over to hug me. "Oh, sweetie. God don't hate you. He don't hate you at all. So what you made a mistake. DO you have any idea how many mistakes Iv'e made in life? So many! But I'm still here. God loves you so much, you think He gave you life so you could just take it? No! That's why He sent me, to go find you at the lake. I come in here like Lord where has she gone. Then the lake pops in my head and I go after you. I didn't save you, hun. God did. He's not ready for you, which is why your attempt didn't go through. He still loves you, and will forever and ever. Nothing can separate you from the love of God. You are loved by Him. I will take care of Kayla for a year. But after that, she's yours. I'm sending you to a teen Christian camp while I watch her. That's where I learned and it will be where you will learn." She smiles at me and hugs me. I hug her back and look up. "Thank you Lord" I say, tears streaming down my face."I'm sorry, please forgive me.."

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