Mistake

Chapter 5

Four months pregnant. 

I haven't really left the house. Except for school. Other than that, Iv'e been very depressed. Get this. I called Rubie, a couple weeks ago and she said we can no longer asscociate now that everyone knows at the school that I'm pregnant. She said it would mess up her reputation. I hung up and never called back. The worse thing is, she told everybody. It hurts so bad that I'm in this alone. Everytime I walk in the house my mom gives me a cold look. She no longer hits me because of the baby. She sends me to my room with food. She won't talk to me. I guess I like it that way. She has considered giving me her bed since I can't lay on a cot all 9 months. But she still hasn't made the change. I am in this all alone.  I am so alone. My ultrasound was okay, The baby is fine. It's a girl. Iv'e already named her Kayla. I know who she's gonna live with. I talked to that woman from the office. Her name is Sarah. She has 2 girls and would be happy to have another. I won't be around after I give birth. I'll possibly be dead. I can't live like this anymore. That's my plan. It will happen. I feel bad that Kayla will not know who her real mom is, but she doesn't need to. I get a text from Joseph pulling me out of my thoughts. "Hey Vile. I was wondering if maybe we could talk, Iv'e been thinking. Could you meet me down at the hiking trail tomorrow at 5?" I laugh coldy. I won't even reply to that. 1 why would he wait so long? 2 Why the hiking trail? and 3 Why not come meet me? I bite my nails and text back "Maybe." Then turn my phone off. I did sorta need Joseph. But I didn't like him anymore, that's for sure. I think. I lay my head back on the cold cot. I really hate my life. I would blame God, but who am I to blame Him when I was the one who failed him? I bit my lip and told God I was sorry a million times before I fell asleep again. I felt a kick and woke up. "Ugh, Kayla!" I whisper. She was kicking a lot more than usual. I was getting annoyed. I'm trying to sleep. I put my hand on my belly and feel her kicking. I can't help but smile. It was pretty cool. I guess. "To bad we will only see each other for a moment." I whisper to her. "I could have teached you to kick some butt!" I laugh and go to sleep. For once, this baby has made me smile after months of frowning.