Mistake

Chapter 9

The next day, Sarah drives me to school. I take a deep breath before I walk in the doors. Everyone stares at me. I try not to let it bother me. But it does. Hang in there "Violet." I say to myself "After the baby is born you won't have to deal with this crap anymore."  I continue walking. Shelby looks at me but looks away. I'm surprised she hasn't said anything to me. I look up and find Rubie looking at me, her face sad. What's going on? When I get in the class room everyone turns and looks at me. I squeeze my hands into fists. "Welcome back, Vile." Rubie says smiling. I roll my eyes and walk to my seat, hearing a few snickers. Shelby walks in and rolls her eyes at me, and I smile, for God knows what. I sit up and stare her down. Who did she think she is? I should be the one rolling my eyes. I should be the angry one. I bite my lip and put my hand on Kayla. Closing my eyes I silently pray, "Lord, I ask that you let this little live her life, fully. I ask that she makes the right decisions and does not be stupid as I was. I ask that she will be happy."  I smile to myself and open my eyes. Just because I'm miserable, doesn't mean she has to be. I really hope Kayla doesn't end up like me. I made a mistake. I always do. I'm done here. I don't need an education, any longer. I'm leaving the earth in 3 more months. No need to be here. I get up and leave the classroom without a word. I walk to the lake and sit there. For hours and hours. Until somebody calls my mom and tells her that I left school. She wouldn't care much anyway. She spends to much time getting high on everything but Jesus. I laugh at the thought. I remember the first time I got saved. I was so happy and excited to live my life for God. I promised Him I wouldn't do dumb things, make dumb choices. I broke that promise. Now look at me. Pregnant and commiting suicide in three months, I am a mess. Such a mess. God will never forgive me, and I know that. What reason would he have to? I broke my promise to Him and I deserve to suffer. I deserve everything that Iv'e ever gotten. The baby kicks me, and tears drop from my eyes.