The Assassin of Madness

Chapter 20

Rose woke to the Doctor clutching her hand, asleep with his head on the table by her waist.  His breath was hitting her arm, and she tilted her chin slightly, wanting to look at him.  His features were relaxed in sleep and she found that the urge to run her hand through his hair was overwhelming. 

She didn't remember what happened after she was stabbed.  She knew better than to try to shift, already able to feel where the cut was in her back.  It was deep, that much she knew.  Having the urge to move something, she flexed her toes and only her toes before settling again.  She was still feeling tired, drifting in and out of consciousness.  

There was no sign of Jack.  She opened her eyes fully and glanced around the room but didn't see any indication that he'd even been in the med bay.  She felt her brows furrow in worry.  Was he alright?  She wanted to ask the Doctor, but with as little as he slept, she didn't want to wake him.  Her fingers were still gripping his and he was holding her just as tightly, even in sleep. 

Worrying her bottom lip, she stroked her thumb over his.  He made and odd little sound in his sleep and shifted closer to her, the arm that wasn't attached to the hand holding hers was across the backs of her legs.  She smiled a little at that. It was rare that the possessive and protective side of him she'd known in her previous Doctor came out.  It made her feel wanted, special, and she loved it.  Even though she knew he didn't love her, the fact that he cared enough to try to keep her safe made her heart warm.  

He was very close to her now, his grip on her guarding, even in his sleep.  She felt safe.  Her eyes slipped closed again, though she wasn't fully asleep.  She hovered on the edge of consciousness for several minutes until she heard the Doctor stirring next to her, waking up.  He let out a long sigh through his nose and pressed a kiss to her hand before sitting back, drawing his arm across her legs, moving it back to his own side. 

She let her eyes open and he looked at her fondly. He smiled at her and squeezed her hand.  "Hi," he whispered.  

"Hi," she replied, flexing her fingers before gripping his hand again. 

He watched her carefully for a few moments.  "What do you remember?"

"Nothing after I was stabbed," she mumbled, forcing her eyes open.  "What happened?"

The Doctor heaved a shuddering breath.  "You collapsed and we had to take you back to the TARDIS.  You're hooked up to an IV, although, your blood transfusion should be done by now."

Rose furrowed her brows at him, "How much blood did I lose?"  She asked, almost afraid of the answer.  

"Too much," he said, just above a whisper.  He averted his gaze from her and she squeezed his hand, trying to get him to look back at her.  He wouldn't. 

"Hey," she said, tilting her head a little.  "I'm here now, yeah?  Here, and fine, and safe."

"You wouldn't have been stabbed at all if you'd been at home," he said softly.

She scoffed, then winced. "You idiot, it can be just as dangerous on the TARDIS, you know that."

He closed his eyes, looking pained.  "No, Rose, not the TARDIS."

His meaning finally dawned on her, and she felt anger boil up from the stomach.  She cursed herself for not being able to sit up and look him in the eye, so she just squeezed his hand as hard as she could, which, unfortunately, was not very threatening or very hard.  "We are not having this conversation, " she said sternly. 

"I'm afraid we are," he said, still not looking at her. 

"Doctor, that is not up to you!" She cried, and winced, "It was my decision to bring the knife because I knew you wouldn't do it, even though we needed to.  I'll tell you something you already know, Doctor, you need me, whether you like it or not, you need me."