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"I think I like him..."

- Rynn's POV - (Still the same day she met Mark just later in the day.)

"WAIT! So you're telling me that you met Markiplier?" Lisa freaking out on her couch with me nodding to her. "I don't believe you." Shane saying in a bored voice as I roll my eyes at him. "I have a picture as proof!" Taking out my phone seeing my new lockscreen of me and Mark. 

I mean I had to put it as my lockscreen, he's my idol!

"Look." Showing him my phone as he just nods. "Okay, never mind, I do believe you." Shane saying to me as I nod. "But as much as I would love to hear more about Mark I have to get to class. Have fun you two." Waving goodbye to me and Lisa as he hugs her goodbye before leaving her dorm.

"That is awesome!" Lisa exclaiming to me before smirking devilishly at me. "So is he hot in person?" Asking me without missing a beat making me awkwardly chuckle. My face growing a deep red with my heart racing a bit more just thinking of it. "Yeah, very." Confessing to her before locking my phone putting it back into my pocket. 

"Well do you want help with your homework now?" Asking her to try to change the subject as she rolls her eyes at me. "I know what you're doing Rynn." "I'm not doing anything." Remarking to her as a counter even though we both know exactly what I am doing. "Whatever. Help me with my homework and then we will talk more." Commanding me with me just nodding.

I am not going to talk to her about how Markiplier is. Even though he is handsome with no question to it. 

- After homework -

"Anyways. Did you ever figure out how you feel with Sean?" Lisa asking me while she lays on the couch taking it all up as I sit on the floor looking up at her. 

That's the thing though I don't think I ever did figure it out. But I know I do but I don't have it figured out. I don't know how to explain it either but I know somehow she will understand. 

"I don't know. That's just the thing about it Lisa. I feel like I already know the answer but I won't let myself accept the answer so I just ignore it or something without realizing it. I mean is that even possible?" Asking up to her as she nods. "It is." Sometimes I feel like she is my mom giving me advice. This is one of those moments. "Tell me more about it. Tell me whatever is on your mind about it, tell me everything in your heart when you think about Sean. I want to know everything." "Everything?" "Everything."

She wants to know everything. The thing is I want to know everything as well but I don't know everything. That's the whole problem! I don't know my emotions for Sean! I just don't know how I feel for Sean... I wish I did and I want to know but I don't.

But I know that Lisa won't take me saying 'I don't know' again. She's tired of hearing me say that. She's told me. So I guess I should just spill my heart out to her now or at least before she snaps me out of my own mind again.

"I don't exactly know my feelings for Sean to be honest. I know somewhere deep down I do know but I think I won't let myself know until I meet him. I don't know exactly which one it is yet though or maybe I do."

"Rynn, you're overthinking this. Just take a deep breathe and tell me how you feel." Lisa interrupting me for a good cause. 

Taking in a deep breathe as I was told to do then holding it for a couple of seconds before exhaling and looking back at her. "Better?" "Better." "Good now tell me what your heart feels."

Nodding thinking about Sean smiling to myself just thinking about him.

"Lisa, when I think about Sean I can't help but smile. Even though I haven't met him in person he makes me so incredibly happy. He has so much positivity it just rubs off on me and makes me even more positive. I feel like I've known him for years and I don't even know what he looks like. I want to know what he looks like and I've debated about asking his mother of what he looks like. But I don't want to be a creeper even though she did want me to meet him. Well she still does want me to meet him but a part of me is to scared to ask her and another part of me thinks I will chicken out to meet him. I mean I don't even know what his eye color is and yet he's so captivating to me. Something about him makes me want to know more about him. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing yet. I mean I take his journal everywhere with me now just to make sure I don't lose it. I hold it in my sleep so I don't feel alone. When I'm not reading more about him I feel so lonely. More lonely then I've ever felt in my whole entire life. I mean I know that sounds so weird but it's true." Running a hand through my brunette hair looking at the ceiling above me while I lay flat on my back.