Hello Again, Sir {s/t - complete}

What About Now?: 1.

  Everything about her was still fresh in my mind. It had been years since I’d even seen her, but Hanna was still beside me when I went to sleep, and she was still there when I opened my eyes the following morning. She stood beside me for years, and all those years were in my mind. I loved her, and I still love her. But she was no longer with me. She’d moved on. We’d both learned to live without each other, but I still needed her, I just couldn’t tell her. She didn’t want to see me. She didn’t want to be near me. She didn’t love me anymore. 

            I was just about to leave the house when the phone rang. I let it go to answerphone. My mother wished me luck for my first day at school. As of today I was Mr Alexander Clarke, I was an English teacher, I was successful and accomplished things. I was Alexander, but I didn’t have Hanna, although I needed to thank her. I was determined to do this for her. To show her I could do it.

            My mother ended by declaring her love, and added, bittersweet at the end, maybe you’ll see Hanna there.

            I saved Hanna.

            I decided to talk to my mother later about that. It had been months, and I still didn’t have the heart to tell her that Hanna was no longer in my life. I didn’t want to break her heart. She needed Hanna to be in my life as much as I needed it. She needed to atone, and redeem, from that fateful night. She needed Hanna’s forgiveness just as much as I needed Hanna’s love.

            Even though I was going to teach college students, they wouldn’t call me Alex. They would address me as Mr Clarke. It seemed the college didn’t put up with any nonsense, but whether it was strict or not, I didn’t know or care. I’d landed a teaching job. I was happy. Well, as happy as I could be. I was earning my own way, by doing what I loved.   

            I sighed, heavily, running a hand through my curly, unruly black hair. My phone rang, but this time it wasn’t my mother. It was my ex-girlfriend, Jenny, who was an ex before Hanna. I hadn’t spoken to her in over two years, not since she’d drove Hanna out of my life. She had given me an ultimatum, but I had chosen Hanna. Hanna didn’t know that, of course, but Jenny twisted everything and I ended it with her. I didn’t want to see her again. But still, she got to Hanna before me and now I believe she shares the same hatred for me that I do to Jenny.     

            Sighing one more time, I made my way to my own car, ready to start my first day of college. Hanna would also be starting her first day in senior year today, although as a pupil. I was starting as a teacher. There were two colleges in Myer, and I was torn in whether I wanted her to go to my college. I wanted her to go to the other, so I wouldn’t have to see her, bearing in mind that it was so much pain, yet at the same time I wanted to see her just because I missed her. Being around her now, as a teacher, would be dangerous though. I didn’t know if I could control myself once I saw her.

         I watched the car in-front move and I thought I saw Leidy, but I was wrong. Leidy didn’t have short red hair; it was long, and blonde – just like Hanna’s. She wouldn’t cut it. But before I could get a better look, the girl drove off. I carried on, and soon I found myself at the college – the pristine, prestigious college.

        “This is it,” I told myself. “First day.”

        I looked in the mirror again, straightened out my tie and checked my outfit looked okay before grabbing my bag and my staff identification card.