The Baby Whisperer [ON HOLD]

Chapter 4: The Liar, the Bιtch and the Warzone

This was why parents hired me. I could cook, clean and do laundry -- all of which I did very well -- and I was great with kids.

This two week stint I had with the Woods wasn’t the first time I’d been hired to watch over children for more than a few hours at a time. It might just be the last though if the next offer involved having to deal with seventeen-year-old brats.

Forty-five minutes of intense scrubbing, mopping and disinfectant spraying resulted in a kitchen that was definitely much more sanitary than it was when I started.

The same couldn't be said for me; my shirt was drenched in sweat, my hair had long ago fallen out of its ponytail and I stunk worse than a garbage can.

I quickly went upstairs to shower and change into one of my favorite shirts -- an oversized-purple one with a picture of a crying onion above the words ‘I Make Onions Cry’ written in large yellow letters -- a pair of paisley-printed orange tights and my trusted Vans.

At around seven-forty-five, the smell of bacon-pancakes were wafting through the kitchen. Let me clarify. I wasn’t cooking bacon and pancakes. I was cooking bacon-pancakes because, yes, they are a thing.

I sliced up some melon and strawberries for myself and made fruit smoothies for Fred and Luna. Oliver can go drink pool water for all I care.

I looked at the sheet of paper Mrs. Wood had tacked on the refrigerator door that detailed Luna and Fred's summer class schedules. Since it was Monday, Luna would have to be at Art and Fred at Music. Good thing Mrs. Wood was one of those parents who planned things out and both classes were in the same building.

I checked my watch -- 8:03 -- and figured that if we left at 9:15 and caught the 9:25 Number 12 bus, we could make it in time for Luna and Fred’s 10 AM classes.

Time to get those two up then, I decided.

“Lu,” I gently shook Luna awake. “Wake up, little lady,” I smiled, poking her belly.

Luna blinked at me with sleepy blue eyes and smiled. “Theo?” she mumbled as she fingered a loose strand of my hair.

“Yup,” I chuckled. “Do you know anyone else with blue hair?”

Luna let out a sleepy laugh. “Is it time for Art?” she hugged her pillow closer.

“Nope, not yet, sweetie.” I leaned down to whisper in her ear. “It's time for pancakes and strawberry smoothies.”

The sleepy girl was instantly gone and in her place was a blonde, blue-eyed ball of energy hopping up and down on the bed. “Where?”

“Kitchen -- careful though. The house is a bit of a mess,” I called out as she jumped out of bed and skipped out of her room.

I quickly made her bed and went into Fred's room.

Fred was much easier to wake up. “Theo? When did you get here?” he asked, yawning and blinking his blue eyes.

I ruffled his hair. “Last night, bud. You and Luna wouldn't know anything about that party of Oliver's I crashed, would you?”

“He wanted to throw a party and so we told him we wouldn't tell Mum and Dad if he paid us fifty bucks,” he shrugged.

My eyes widened and I popped both my hands on my hips. “Fifty bucks?”

He nodded. “Each,” he smiled as he climbed out of bed. “What's for breakfast?”

“Bacon-pancakes -- and I made you that melon smoothie you like,” I answered distractedly.

Fred flashed me a smile and zoomed off to the kitchen, leaving me to make his bed and ponder over this new information. It seemed the resident nymphomaniac was even more susceptible to blackmail than I initially thought.