Without Him

Chapter 23

The doctor's words had eliminated a huge weight of dread and replaced it with relief. I knew that stressing out wasn't good for my early pregnancy so thankfully his words had given me peace of mind. The level of stress and worry I was feeling lowering to a point of being almost non-existent. I would remain worried until he fully recovered but my worry wouldn't be as high as it was in the waiting room. What I most feared was Max not being able to make it due to his injuries from the accident. I didn't want to lose him, especially this way. It was too tragic for me to ever be able to accept it.

We thanked Dr. Samuels and proceeded to go to Max's room. As we walked to the elevator, the doctor said, "Miss!" as he reached for a few things a nurse was handing him. I stopped and walked back to him.

"These are some of Mr. Wilde's belongings that were with him at the time of the accident. We thought you might to keep them while he recovers" Dr. Samuels said before handing them to me.

He had Max's wallet - which was slightly dirty with dried blood, his phone - which had a broken screen and a creased paper. The small piece of paper seemed familiar. As I reach for the items and unscramble the paper, my hand instantly went to my mouth as I started to cry. The sonogram. He knew. That's what he was going to my office for, to talk about the pregnancy.

"He'll be okay and congratulations" Dr. Samuels said, slightly smiling before leaving. I let Grace and Patrick go to Max's room and sat on the waiting room.

I placed his wallet and phone on my lap but kept the sonogram on my hands. The more I saw it, the more tears fell and the guiltier I felt over his accident. If I had told him sooner, this wouldn't have happened. I allowed things to go this far before I decided to tell him. It took for Max to nearly die before I decided to tell him. I felt incredibly horrible and like the biggest jerk out there. I silently cried and sobbed over my stupid reluctance. I tried not to dwell too much on my guilt before going upstairs to his room. The only thing I could do was hope for Max to recover soon.

You never realize how much someone truly means to you until they are gone forever. I never underestimated my feelings for Max but I would had never forgiven myself if he had died and I wouldn't have been able to talk with him about the pregnancy.

After arriving to his room, I waited outside for Grace and Patrick to come out. As desperate as I was to see him, his parents deserved to see him and be alone with him for as long as they wanted. As I waited outside, I took the opportunity to call Mum and share with her what the doctor had told us about Max's condition and tell her about Max knowing about the pregnancy.

"Honey, the accident could have happened either way. It's not your fault" Mum tried to convince me after I told her how I felt.

The vent, somehow, helped me get rid of the small guilt inside of me. I still felt like I could have prevented it in some way.

As I ended the call, Max's parents exited the room.

"We're going to head home and rest. We've been here almost all day. I'm sure we'll be early tomorrow morning" Patrick spoke with Grace by his side.

"It's okay. I'll just go in and see him for a bit before leaving."

I replied, hugging them goodbye. "Have a good night. And again thank you for calling me"

I lightly opened the door of his room, closing it quietly. Max was unconscious. An IV and several other cables were attached to his body, keeping track of his vitals and heart beat. I walked to the edge of his bedside and pulled a chair, sitting next to him and reaching for his hand.

He looked pale. His eyelashes resting over his cheeks as his beautiful blue eyes rested. His lower lip was split and one of his cheekbones seemed to have a bruise. He had a small cut above his eyebrow that was covered with butterfly stitches. Another bruise that crossed his chest - probably caused by the seatbelt - could be seen through the collar of his hospital gown. His arms also had a few small cuts that seemed like scratches. He looked lifeless. The reassuring beeping of the heart monitor and descend and ascend of his chest being the only evidence he was still alive. His breaths were so light, they were barely noticeable.