Fourtris Now and Forever: Divergent No War

| c h a p t e r 61 |

He lunges for my arm, his grasp tight. "Stay, please. I'm just nervous."

I take a deep breath, stabilizing my emotions. "Fine," I relent. "And you should be nervous. Our entire future is riding on what bullshit you come up with tonight to try and fix this relationship, so go ahead," I spit out.

He leads me to the couch steadily. "I'm not making anything up. I don't deserve to have you back if you don't accept the truth. I just want to explain. It was pretty hard to come across to you when all you wanted to do was run away last time."

"Can you blame me?" I ask, raising an eyebrow.

"No, I can't. Because I understand what happened must've been really bad to walk in on. I was completely wasted and I didn't even know what I was doing. I'm really sorry--"

"People say that was someone is drunk, their actions reflect what's happening deep below the surface level of their sober actions and thoughts. How am I supposed to know if you are really looking for Madison and not me? How am I supposed to know that I'm what you want if--when you get an opportunity--you're willing to let some slut be all over you?"

He closes his eyes. "You're right," he states with his eyes closed. I throw my head back in shock.

"What?" I ask, shaking my head.

He draws in a breath with his eyes closed. "You're right to assume that. The only thing is, that . . . . I think I thought it was you," he whispers, his eyes seeing right through me. "The blond hair, the black dress. I was so wasted and everything was so hazy. Nothing made sense. I hardly even remember it.

"All I do remember though is that one moment I thought I was surprised that you had showed up so I started talking to you. I was so wasted that I didn't even stop to think why you would ask me to dance instead of just dragging me out to the dance floor. And then the next moment, the second you ran away. I sobered up a little bit after that, but I was still drunk when I chased you back to our apartment

"In that moment, I knew something wasn't adding up. And then I realized all along that they were two different people. I didn't understand that it was Madison until you told me. And I'm really, really sorry, Tris. I love you and you know I would never do anything to hurt you. Or at least I hope you do."

"I do know. But I do wish I could trust you about this. Because something's not adding up."

He shakes his head, unable to understand. "What?" he asks, concerned to know what he did wrong now.

"You're leaving something out," I say, hoping he'll take the hint and explain before I have to accuse him of anything.

"What did I leave out, Tris?" he asks desperately. "Tell me and I'll explain. Please."

"Madison's visit," I say sharply.

He seems taken off balance. "Oh, yeah. That."

"What happened?"

"She came to the door asking for help with training and I told her that she could do it on her own time. I was about to close the door and say goodbye when she kissed me. I told her that she couldn't do that, but then she told me that my girlfriend wasn't around. I slammed the door in her face and I was so mad that when I came back to you, I needed to prove to you how much I loved you. So I kissed you and I just tried to forget that she ha ever done that because it didn't mean anything," he explains quickly before I get too mad.