The Pursuit of Camila Cabello

Chapter Five: Reconciliation

"Yes, I was! Lauren, I was wrong. I hate myself for what I did to you. Normani told me how you shut down after we broke up. That you wouldn't eat, that you didn't get out of bed most days, that you were hanging around with criminals and getting arrested every other day. I ruined you, Lauren! I can never forgive myself for that and neither should you!"

Camila was breathing heavily and the raw passion in her voice astounded Lauren. It seemed, even after all these years, Camila still had Lauren under her spell.

Despite this, Lauren gritted her teeth and ground them against each other. All those memories she kept in the back of her mind, the ones she prayed would just vanish, came rushing back. First came the horrible memories, ones where Lauren spent her days in a void, living only in the most literal sense. Ones where she didn't know what month or year she was living in. Ones where she forget who she was and what she stood for.

Then came the bittersweet memories. Ones where she spent happy moments with her family, only to drink herself blind and leave for days on end. Ones where she'd enjoy herself at the Cat's Meow, surrounded by friends, only to be mugged and nearly murdered for fighting on the streets. Ones where, for a moment, she thought she would get better, only for life to kick her in the teeth.

Then came the worst of all: memories of Camila. Ones where she'd trace the words "I love you" into her skin as they fell asleep. Ones where she'd kiss her skin with as much passion and love as she could muster, falling for her even more. Ones where Camila would flash her that bright, glowing smile, a smile she reserved for Lauren alone.

They were the most painful: they reminded her of what she had but wasn't good enough to keep.

So, with steel in her voice, she said, "But you were right, Camila. I wasn't enough for you back then. I knew that so when you finally brought it up, it was the final straw. And now, because of you, I'm at least worth something now."

Camila barrelled towards Lauren, so fast she appeared as a blur. She grabbed Lauren by the lapels of her coat and tugged her forward. Their faces were only inches apart and Lauren could feel Camila's warm breath on her lips. She might have leaned in closer if she wasn't so startled.

Camila always had a short temper when they were dating, which worked nicely with Lauren's cool head. But, it seems like in time, she had forgotten just how ferocious Camila was. She swore she could see a fire ignite in her eyes.

She shook her by the lapels as tears began to pool in her eyes, screaming, "You were worth something then, too! You were worth everything to me, Lauren! For God's sake, I was going to marry you!"

All the air in her lungs was knocked out of her. Her mind went blank except for one thought: if Lauren had been good enough then, Camila would have been her wife by now. Her name would be Camila Jauregui-Cabello, instead of Camila Mahone.

"What?" She stuttered out, her jaw hanging open in horror.

Camila's hands slipped from Lauren's coat and fell by her sides. She hung her head and took a shaky breath, steam rising from her mouth. Lauren could only watch as a wave of affection rose up in her, reminding her that her comfort was not welcome anymore.

Camila finally spoke, looking up at Lauren as the tears dripped down, "Before the fame got to me, I was going to ask you to marry me. For as long as I could remember, I had always had a piece missing from my heart. That hole didn't fill until I met you. And from then on, you became this immovable constant in my life, my rock. But, somewhere along the line, I took you for granted. I took your kindness for weakness; your soft heart for stupidity; your love for obsession. And then I ruined everything."