I Moved On, Why Don't You

The Deepest Kind Of Wound

"It's funny, since this whole thing started, everyone's been telling me what to do like I'm too stupid to make up my own mind."

"Don't you want________ ?"

"I wanted my pups so much, but how can I care for them when I can't protect myself? I can't keep them safe, so they'd be better off without me."

"T-That's not true! You'll be a great mom!"

"No one understands, I'm damaged. I can't even bring myself to look at my own pups, how can I take care of them?"

"Come on."

Not giving him a chance to say anything, I grabbed his arm, which fortunately due to his wolf's healing abilities, didn't have an IV and gently helped him to his feet.

"What are you doing?"

"You can hate me for this, but you need to see your pups."

"Joey, no."

I didn't reply, tightening my hold on his arm when he struggled and dragging him along behind me down different hallways until we found the nursery.

"Please, Joey."

"You may not believe it, but your pups need you more than anyone right now Joel. Even if you decide to give them up, at least look at them one time so you don't regret it."

Something in my words seemed to reach him and he stopped struggling and followed me inside. He suddenly pulled away from me, last lifting his nose into the air and gently sniffing before making his way to a small room that was separated from the main part of the nursery. He looked inside and froze as a whimper escaped him.

"Joel, what's wrong?"

"They're . . . They're so tiny. I'm afraid."

"It's alright, I'll stay with you, you're not alone."

"Y-Yeah."

Placing a hand on his shoulder, I steered him into the small room and sat him in the chair beside the incubator.

"W-What do I say?"

"Just talk to them."

Nodding, Joel sighed as he turned back to his shivering pups.

"Hello babies . . . I'm your mama. I'm sorry I haven't been here to see you, but I wasn't . . . I didn't think that I could protect you . . . but I'm going to try. I promise to be the best mama I can and I'll love both of you with all of my heart."

The pups stopped shaking at the sound of Joel's voice, stumbling to their feet and moving towards him.

"I . . . I don't understand what are they doing?"

"Searching for you. Press your hand to the glass."

Quickly doing what I said, Joel gasped quietly when first one and then both pups touched the glass where his hand was.

"They're so beautiful."

"Yes they are."

"Thank you Joey."

I smiled sadly, even though he couldn't see it. I never thought it would hurt so much to hear Joel thanking me, but it brought back how much of a failure of a brother I really was.

"Are you going to keep them?"

"I can't give them up."

"I'll leave you alone with them."