My Demon Butlers { Kuroshitsuji Fanfiction }

Chapter XX. Awkward Conversation and Impossible Love.

The whole way to home it was quiet and I thought about what happened while still having tons of questions inside of my mind. There were so many things that I couldn’t explain that it frightened me. But also the look on Ciel’s face after he saw Sebastian and me was quite terrifying but at the same time reasonable because this wasn’t the kind of thing that a mistress and a butler should do with each other.

“We arrived.” said Ciel who looked out of the window.

“I see. Prepare some tea for me immediately, Sebastian.” I said.

“I’ll make sure you wounds won’t get infected first.” said Sebastian.

“I’ll do that. You prepare the tea.” said Ciel.

Sebastian’s expression was... nothing. You couldn’t read his mind anymore, you couldn’t see what he was thinking at all.

“Alright then.” he said.

Ciel opened the door of the carriage and he helped me stepping out.

“Can you first make sure you get me out of this dress?” I asked annoyed because I almost tripped over my sleeve again.

“As you wish, my lady.” said Ciel who bowed and leaded me towards the mansion.

He brought me to the living room as Sebastian walked towards the kitchen to prepare some tea that I would be enjoying.

As we walked, Ciel suddenly put his hand behind my back like he was afraid I was going to fall. It felt like he was worried and showed that in a rare manner. It was something he had never done before. And because of what happened before, I didn’t ask anything about it and pretended that I didn’t notice him being all stiff for a sudden.

“Please sit down. I’m going to take care of your wounds, my lady.”

“That’s alright, it are all just scratches.”

Ciel smiled awkwardly, knowing that I was lying about it. It weren’t scratches at all, but at least it had stopped bleeding already.

Ciel cleaned my wounds.

“It stings...”

He grinned.

“If I don’t do this, it will get infected and you will get an even bigger sting.”

“It’s not like I asked to get hurt.”

“It looked like you were, though.”

I didn’t answer that. It was true that I wanted to get hurt because I loved the feeling of physical pain as I fell down and there was blood dripping almost everywhere on my body. It was a great thing that I survived from falling so hard, but I was a countess and had to make sure I wouldn’t be too weak that I couldn’t even handle such a pain. I worked out, a lot. But at the same time I stopped eating. The only thing that kept me alive in the years that I locked myself in my room, were the muscles that I created by working out. Well, they weren’t big or something. It was only enough to keep me alive. Locking myself inside meant the world. It meant no food, only water or things from the garden, which I also barely saw and when I saw it, I didn’t want to work in it so most of the things that grew there were weeds.

“Almost finished.” mumbled Ciel who put on a bandage on my head and leg.

I watched every move that he made and it surprised me that he did everything so careful. He knew I didn’t cry fast even if I was in pain. He could’ve done it quicker if he worked a little less careful.

“And finished.” he said as he stood up again, looking at me with a weird smile on his face.

I didn’t want to say thank you. I didn’t feel like saying so either way.