Without Him

Chapter 21

"I'm pregnant" I said, instantly looking at their faces for a reaction as I fidgeted with my fingers.

They stood in front of me, their faces emotionless probably from the shock of my announcement, I guessed? The first one to react was Livie, who let out a shriek and jumped onto me, giving me a hug that nearly took all the air out of me.

"Are you serious?" She asked in the high pitched voice tone she spoke in whenever she was excited.

I nodded as I smiled at her. Later turning to watch Mum. My eyebrows came together in worry, waiting for her to speak and say something.

"I'm guessing Max is the father" Mum said

I nodded, unable to talk. She wasn't giving any emotion away and I was going to start panicking if she didn't give me something more than an expressionless face soon.

"Have you told him? How far along are you?"

"No. Bliss, Livie and you are the only ones who know at the moment. About four or five weeks" I replied, my fidgeting increasing. She was killing me and I could see Livie was also starting to worry.

After a moment of silence, she spoke, "I'm glad you're bringing another grandchild into the family. I'm really happy and I know your father will be wary at first but I'm sure he'll be happy too" This time she finally gave me a smile and hugged me. "We're here for you. Always. You're great mom, there's nothing you have to worry about. Same goes to Max, he has been a great father too."

I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding until I heard her words. My shoulders sagged in relief as I hugged her back.

I knew we were taking too long in the bathroom and that Max and people at the table would soon send someone to come and get us but before we left the bathroom Mum said, "I know you're scared to tell him. But, Ella, please do it as soon as you can. He loves you and I'm sure this time will be different. I'm not defending him completely and telling you, you have no right to be afraid - because you do, he hurt you - but we all know how much he cares for Mia - and you - and I'm sure he will care about this new little one as much as he does for you girls."

"I will" I nodded, as I took her hand and assured her.

"I can't believe I'm going to be an auntie again" Livie shrieked

I laughed at her excitement and exited the bathroom with them. When we returned, the tables were being cleaned for the food that would be arriving soon. Mia was now on Reeve's mother's lap as she chatted with Bliss. I sat on my chair next to Max while Mum and Livie returned to their designated seats.

Max's arm went over my shoulder, pulling closer to him as he leaned into my ear and whispered, "Everything okay?"

I intertwined my fingers with his from the hand over my shoulder and squeezed it as I nodded in response. I knew he would notice we were gone for long. Thankfully, my answer appeased. He kissed my temple before returning his attention to everyone else, keeping his hand in my grasp.

Mia had barely been with me throughout the night. She had everybody smitten with her cuteness. I got her back while we waited for the food. I gave Mia her bottle, knowing she was going to start getting sleepy soon. It was after 8:00pm and her bed time was around this hour.

The dishes started to arrive to the table and all of the sudden, the smell of one of them triggered my nausea. I wasn't sure which it was since the waiter walked behind me. I tried to calm it down but just felt worse. I slowly stood up - since Mia was falling asleep - and handed her to Mum who was next to me. I walked to the bathroom as fast as I could - on my heels and as discreetly as possible - with the back of my hand against my mouth. The last thing I wanted to do at Bliss's dinner was cause a scene. As soon as I opened the bathroom door and walked to a stall, the contents on my stomach surfaced.

As I tried to recover, I heard Max lightly knocking on the ladies' bathroom door, "Ella? Ella, are you okay?" He murmured against the door.

After a few minutes, I was able to calm my stomach down. I washed my hands and mouth and exited the bathroom. Max was in the hallway, leaning on the wall in front of the ladies' bathroom door with his arms crossed in front of his chest. As soon as he heard the creak of the door, he walked to me.

"Hey, what's wrong? What was that about?" Max asked. His face full of worry and comprehension as his hands went to my arms, his thumbs rubbing back and forth over my skin.

"I must have eaten something bad this afternoon, it's probably nothing. I'm fine" I said, shaking my head. I was unable to meet his eyes. I couldn't, not when I was lying about this.

"Are you sure?" He questioned, not convinced by my answer.

I nodded, bringing my head up. I placed my hand on his cheek, caressing it and lightly smiled, "I'm fine now. It's nothing"

I kissed his cheek and grabbed his hand, bringing us back to the table. I knew none of my answers had satisfied Max but this was not the place to press the issue. Thankfully, he let it drop but I knew that as soon as we were alone he would ask again.

As we sat, Dad eyed me. Mum had probably already told him. She leaned into me and whispered, "You have to tell him"

I turned to face her, "I know" I replied through gritted teeth. I knew I had to tell him she didn't have to remind me. It was just making me feel worse than I already did.

Mia had fallen asleep on Mum's arms. I asked Max to retrieve her car seat from the car so Mum could eat peacefully and Mia could be more comfortable. I thanked him as he brought it in and settled it next to my chair. Mum gave me Mia and I placed her into the seat, later returning to my food and keeping an eye on the sleeping baby next to me.

After finishing our food, Bliss and Reeve started to discuss the wedding plans and revealed the date they had settled for. Bliss admitted she wanted a spring wedding and her and Reeve had concluded on mid-April for the wedding. It made me happy to see my sister so content with her life. She deserved to have someone like Reeve, someone who treated her like she was meant to be treated.

I was going to be 8 months by the time of their wedding. Wow. And Mia would already be a year old, her birthday being in February. The realization of how fast time goes by, convinced me that I had to tell Max as soon as possible. No more rambling. I couldn't keep avoiding it, he was the one who deserved to know more than anyone else. Hopefully, I would already have enough courage to do so. And hopefully, this time he would stay.