Without Sight (poetry volume one)

The String That Carries Me Is Breaking

The String That Carries Me Is Breaking

I don’t want your sympathy;

Merely your help.

I’ve been out on a limb for what seems like forever:

I’ve forgotten what it’s truly like

To leave it all in Your hands.

Did I ever truly know?

Was I just in line with the others

Waiting to jump off the cliff in the false pretense

That I really thought I had it all

When really I was only planning to fail?

I’ve seen the lowest of the low,

The highest of the high

And I have to admit it isn’t a pretty sight

To fall so far after climbing for so long,

After reaching what I thought was the top

Only to realize that I was lying to myself.

Maybe I wasn’t.

Maybe I truly believed it all.

I don’t want to keep in the past of things.

I would much rather stay in the present:

Leave yesterday in yesterday

And last week in last week.

I will admit that my faith deep down

Was a wavering mess hardly held up.

I have to admit to myself now

That even tonight I’m not as put together as I hope.

I know there isn’t an instruction guide

To get rid of this feeling of loneliness

When buried deep, deep down

I know for truth that there is something holding on to me.

Why else would I feel this way?

Why else would I feel so drawn in

Yet so torn apart in chaos at the same time?

If I truly didn’t want this with my whole heart and being,

Why would I keep holding on to the feeling

that there is something more out there for me?

Why don’t I just give up?

I’ve thought about it:

I have to be honest

I did think about just giving it all away in a quick motion

Like throwing away trash.

But that’s the thing:

This is far from trash,

Far from anything that belongs in the dumpster

Of things I’ve given up on.

I don’t want this to be in the category of something I couldn’t reach

Because I was either to afraid of the tears

Or too afraid to come out and say

That I need guidance and help in this life