Secret Desire (Nyssara FanFic)

Ta-er al-Sahfer

"The emptiness, like their is always something missing. I know what you feel. I've known that longer than you have."

"I'm sorry."

"I know you are."

Sara knows that they have moved past that, especially now that they are very much involved in each other's lives. But it still has an effect on her that she has hurt Nyssa deeply plenty of times. That's why every day that they are together she is always very careful not to do it again.

"I need your help on something. I want your take on it because you're so much part of my life now, part of who I am."

Nyssa smiled. She overheard her conversation with Nate about the name, and apparently she already has something in mind for her.

"Ta-er al-Sahfer."

"What?" Sara was surprised that she already knew what she was going to say, maybe she overheard, maybe she just knows her too well. Whichever the case was, she found it sweet.

"During my last mission, I saw a girl sitting by the front steps of their house. Her father came up to her with a caged bird behind his back. He kissed her on top of her head and offered her the bird. The girl's eyes lit up. It was beautiful with its exquisite form and golden feathers. The girl opened the cage and took the bird out for a closer look. What she did next surprised both me and her father. She let it go. She smiled sweetly at her father as the bird flew away. The father didn't get mad or question her. He just held her daughter close. That yellow bird, the canary, reminded me of you. The island and that ship were your cage, now you're free of it and are able to soar high and be whoever you want to be. You're the canary. My Ta-er al-Sahfer."

"And you're the girl who made that all happen. Ta-er al-Sahfer. I love it. And I love you."

"I love you, my canary."

"And just so you know, you may have set me free, but I am not flying away from you. This is exactly where I ought to be, where I want to be, right by your side."

Nyssa hopes that that would never change. They're finally together like they've never been before. Their bond and love for each other stronger, but she is still afraid she's going to realize she's not what she really wants one day and just leave. Maybe she would never get over the fear of sara walking away from her. But at least for now, she would cherish every single moment they share together. She would be happy and content that she is with her, that she chose a life to be with her.

There was a knock on the door.

"Princess, Ra's al Ghul requests your presence."

Nyssa felt a knot form at the pit of her stomach. She couldn't pin it out but her father summoning her at the moment doesn't sit well with her. And Sara saw the weariness in her eyes.

"Maybe he just missed his daughter. Or wants a report on your mission."

Nyssa doubted both counts but appreciated Sara's attempt to lift her up.

"Maybe."

"It'll be okay. You'll see. You're worrying over nothing."

"I don't know how you keep being a wonderful ray of sunshine going through all this, but I love you even more for it."

"You're the reason for it. You'll lose yourself, when I lose myself. Like you, I don't want that to happen."

"We keep each other in check."

"Exactly."

"I should be going before our worrying over nothing turns into something."

Nyssa placed a soft kiss on Sara's forehead before heading out the door.