Shikamaru has a Sister?

The Fifth Hokage of Konohagakure

"Say that again!" Konohamaru dares. 

"Oh? Do you still want me to say it?" she says, glaring. "Per-ver-ted BRAT!" 

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!"

"Lady Tsunade, I-"

"Lady Tsunade, the elders are waiting, you have to hurry." Shizune says, coming around the corner with Tonton. 

"I know." says Tsunade, and she pokes the goggles on Konohamaru's head. 

He turns pink. 

"Be careful, brat."

"Lady Tsunade, please be more considerate. I'll be the one blamed if you're late."

I shake Konohamaru's shoulders. 

"You should be grateful! She could have killed you, you're just a little kid!" I hiss. 

"I AM NOT A LITTLE KID!" 

Just then, Naruto crashes into us, sending me flying. 

"Ow!" I say, rubbing my head. "Naruto, watch it!"

"Hey, Yuukina."

"Naruto?"

"Konohamaru?!"

"Long time no see!"

"Yeah! Hey, did you see a big chested scary lady pass by here?" Naruto asks as I stand up. 

"I sure did. Who is she?"

"Who?" says Naruto. "Hmmmmm....DAMMIT SHE NEEDS TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL RIGHT NOW!"

Yeah, maybe for boob downsizement. Those melons could kill somebody...

"The lady doesn't look like it, but she's an amazing medic. She promised to heal Yuukina, Sasuke, Lee, and Kakashi-sensei. She returned to Konoha after agreeing to be Hokage. SO WHY IS SHE TAKING IT SO EASY!?"

"Hokage?" Konohamaru squeaks.

"She's the Fifth Hokage."

At this, Konohamaru goes silent. 

"She has to do what she said, or else there'll be hell to pay." Naruto says. 

"No way...I don't believe it. NO WAY!" Konohamaru goes running out of the hallway. 

"Naruto, you've upset him!"

Just as I say that, Izumo and Kotetsu round the corner. 

"Hey, Yuukina, we're taking a break to go guard the gates again. Aoba and Genma have to go talk to the Hokage or something. You should go tell Lord Hyuuga you're back."

"Oh yeah!"

I run off toward the Hyuuga compound.

Wait, I sense Neji's chakra at the training grounds...

So I jump off into the woods instead. 

I conceal my chakra and land in a tree silently, near the clearing where Neji stands, eyes closed, concentrating.

"BYAKUGAN!" he shouts after a few seconds. 

I can't tell what he's looking at, but it's definitely something. I sense Tenten's chakra. 

"Two."

Wha...

"Less than fifty meters behind me."

Is he on drugs?...

"Seven birds."

Okay, seriously, what the hell?

"Is that you, Tenten?"

Yes.

"Neji!" she says cheerfully. "Lady Tsunade has come back!"

"Damn right." I flip out of the tree. 

"How long were you there?"

"Just a few seconds. I heard you talking about 'two' and '50 meters' and 'seven birds'. But anyway, Tsunade is the new Hokage."

"Do you want to go see her?" asks Tenten. 

"No. Sorry. Not interested."

Neji looks up at the sky, lost in thought. 

"So what do you think, Tenten, the first female Hokage is here. How excited are you?"

"EEEEK!" she squeals. "I am soooo excited to meet her!"

"She's so strong. One time..."

I begin to tell Tenten about the fight with Orochimaru and Kabuto. 

"Shouldn't you be going?" Neji says when I finish the story. 

"Heh."

"To the hospital, I mean."

"Huh?" I say, confused.

"To see Tsunade..."

"I still have no clue what you're blabbing on abo-"

"YOUR ARM!"

"..."

"You need to get your arm fixed by Tsunade at the hospital."

"Oh, that?" I laugh. "That's not until later. For now, I need to go send a letter to Sunagakure. They've probably heard about the Sannin battle by now."

I walk to the bird building, and begin scribbling my letter.