It's Never Over

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Homestead of Kelly Matron Kalene McCullen
Back Woods
Lewis County, Washington State
United States of America
12 August, 1986
0130

The floor creaked beneath his boots as The Sergeant Major walked into the frontroom. He was  dressed in a flannel shirt with a turquoise and chased silver bolo, worn Levi jeans, unpolished jump boots, a thick leather belt at his waist and a chased silver with turquoise belt buckle completing it. He walked into the middle of the room, looking everyone over. A massive man, over six and a half feet tall and built like a linebacker, with a shrapnel scarred face, kind eyes, and a gentle smile.

"Kelly Matron Kalene, Miss Nagle, Mister Bomber," He said, nodding to each. He turned to me last, staring at me for a long while. "Boy." He said gently.

...it's over...

...it's over...

The lizard hissed at the thought, throwing up an image of Niamh's battered body, of what I'd seen, what I'd heard about, and what had been done.

...stop, please stop...

"Boy, it's over," He said again, reaching for me.

I yanked back, moving away from him. I knew what I was going to say, I didn't want to say it, but it popped out of my mouth anyway despite my attempt to stop it.

"Nothing is over!" I yelled, pointing at the door. "They think that they can just victimize a girl, that they can just stand there looking all innocent while a Sitting Matron has my sister brutalized in a political maneuver and that I'll just walk away and let them get away with it?"

"You've proved your point, boy," He said gently, not moving, just watching me as I started pacing back and forth. "It's time to let it go."

I spun and stared at him. "Why should I? So that as soon as I leave they go right back to the way they treat my generation? How they treat boys and girls my age? Younger? They don't dare do it right now, they're afraid that I'll find out and come for them next."

He shrugged at that, still calmly watching me. "So you're just going to stay here? Stand outside the homestead with a rifle? Inspect everyone's homes?"

"Teach them that if they continue on with this, I'll bring hell to them," I snapped, throwing my hands up. I knew I was ranting, could taste blood when I licked my lips.

"You've taught them that, boy," he said softly. "But it's time to stop."

"Why? What makes it time to stop?" I asked, stopping in mid pace and staring at him.

"Because beyond this all that will happen is you will make it worse. Worse for yourself, worse for everyone. There is no lesson you can teach them by continuing," He told me. He stepped forward, putting his hand on my shoulder and looking down at me. "How far are you going to take it, boy?"

"As far as I have to!" I yelled, stepping back, pulling away from his hand. "As far as they want to push it I'm willing to go!"

He shook his head slowly. "Burn their crops, poison their wells, slaughter their animals, destroy their will to fight and leave no ground to support them? Is that what you're talking about, boy?"

It was like he'd thrown cold water on me.

My father's eyes held my attention as he kept speaking. "That's how you fight, boy," The Sergeant Major said quietly, "It's how the military taught you to fight, and that's fine, there's nothing wrong with that. That's the kind of battle, the kind of war, the military shaped you for," He stepped forward again, putting his hand on my shoulder again. "I'm not blaming you, boy. This was not meant to be your fight, it was meant to be mine," He looked sad at that. "Let me guess, I was supposed to come running home to take care of Niamh, to care for one of my daughter's, and they were going to use what had happened as a way to force me to their will."

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