The Hamilton Charm

Chapter 43

My heart broke into pieces as I read a passage from one letter,

'It's our child's first birthday...give or take a few days. I bought a cake and lit a candle. I would send a gift but I doubt that you would appreciate that. I wish I knew what our child's name is or what they looked like. Does our child have their mother's eyes, hair? Does it look like me at all? What were our child's first words? I don't think I'll ever know but that's my fault. I wish I could be there'

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He had missed out on so much and it looked like I had deprived him of that. I never thought about how he had missed his first words, his first birthday, when he took his first steps, his first day of school. I had been too bitter to think about these things.

I know if the situation had been reversed I would not have been so understanding. I would have beaten down his door to see my child. I could not have gone four years with no contact with my child.

I rested my head in the palm of my hand and let my tears silently stream down my face, defeated. I finally ripped open the last letter with shaking hands and whispered out loud to myself what was written there.

"I don't think I'll ever be forgiven. I'll try and move on because I think that's what you want me to do. Maybe you're right. Maybe I shouldn't have a part of our child's life. I'd only corrupt and ruin it cause that's all I can manage to do right lately. Please remember Talia that I will always love you and our child."

I tried to stop the tears welling in the corners of my eyes from shedding onto the page but it was futile. All the anger I held for him over the last four years began to slowly dissolve. I couldn't even move from the couch I was so emotionally drained.

I sat on the couch for a while but one little thought kept coming into mind every few minutes. Who had received and read my letters?

I plucked the first letter from the pile once again and double checked the date and address. It was my address for my old apartment but on the back was a small stamp saying that it had been forwarded onto a different address.

It was Callie's address which I had left with the new tenants of my old apartment. I had moved in with Callie for a brief period of time while I searched for a new apartment that I could afford.

I searched the cushions of the couch for my phone and quickly dialled Callie's house number. I waited to hear her answer but instead Pierre picked up.

"Halo Pierre. Is Callie there?" I asked while chewing nervously on my nail. I wasn't sure if I wanted to find out or not if she had been keeping the letters from me.

"Ehhh no actually. She popped out about an hour ago. Do you want me to pass on any messages" he asked. I was about to say no but then I thought why not ask Pierre about the letters because if I asked Callie outright then she might try to deny it.

"No I'm good. But Pierre did any letters ever arrive for me while I was staying with ye or even after I moved out?" I asked while scratching my head.

"N-n-no I...I don't think so Talia" he stuttered. I frowned to myself, it sounded like he was lying.

"Are you sure Pierre? Because I have some letters here that were addressed to me to your apartment but were opened and returned to the sender."

He sighed in defeat and then whispered, "I did it to protect you. And before you start screaming at me I need to explain myself. You didn't see yourself after what happened in London Talia. You were a shell of your former self. You wouldn't ever talk about what happened. You also didn't know it but me and Callie could hear you crying in your room at night. He destroyed you.