I finish up straightening my hair and take a look at my appearance in the mirror. Louise invited Phil and I to a holiday party, and I had to look decent enough. I take a step back to look my body up and down. Do I look acceptable for a party? It is just Louise and a few friends... and a bunch of other people I probably don't know that will be potentially judging me, because that's just what this society does. Well, hopefully my festive Christmas jumper is a good enough excuse of a suitable appearance for them. I mean, it's a holiday party.
"Dan, are you ready to go?" I hear Phil ask from outside my room.
"Yeah, I'll be out in a second," I say. Taking one final look in the mirror, I enter the living room where Phil's waiting for me. I walk over to him, smiling, trying to control the blush starting to rise to my cheeks. Recently I've been constantly getting butterflies around Phil, and to keep it on the short side, I can safely say that I am utterly in love with him. As in a "more-than-friends" way. I love his bright smile, his striking, crystal blue eyes, how fucking adorable he his, and practically everything about him. Knowing that Phil doesn't feel the same way, though, I just have to be hopelessly in love with my best friend. What a time to be alive.
"All the candles are blown out, right?" I ask, knowing Phil's tendency to burn scented candles and not blow them out. I'm honestly surprised our flat hasn't been burned to ashes yet. While candles smell amazing, I'd prefer to come home and not find my preciously belongings burned to a crisp.
"Yes, I think," Phil says, his eyes shifting to the right.
"Well, I guess we just hope that the flat is not on fire when we get back," I say, slightly laughing.
"At least we'll have marshmallow-scented smoke," Phil says, laughing with me.
"Let's go, you lil' spork," I say, giggling and shaking my head at Phil's logic. I open the door and we leave the comfort and safety of our flat and head out into the softly-falling snow.
As I walk into Louise's place, I realize that there is going to be a lot more people than I anticipated. Therefore, a lot more people who I don't know and should probably avoid. Well, I know where I'll be for the rest of the night. In the corner by the food. Hopefully with a friend equally as socially awkward as me. I try to find Phil, but he has already separated from me and has gone off to talk to someone else. Great. Sighing, I look around for a place to go, trying to find someone I know to talk to. As my eyes scan the swarm of people crowded in Louise's living room, I spot Chris and PJ near the entrance to the kitchen and decided that they will probably be the only people for me to hang around, so I head over to go talk to with them.
"Hey," I say, as I approach the two.
"Hey, Dan," PJ says casually.
"So, when are you going to tell him?" Chris says, smirking at me.
"What?" I say, confused. They can't possibly mean what I think he does. How could he possibly know, anyway? I didn't tell him, did I?
"You know what I mean. When are you going to tell Phil that you're madly in love with him?" Chris says. Oh, okay, they were talking about that. This will be a fun conversation.
"I don't know what you are talking about," I say, extremely unconvincingly.
"Come on, mate, it's really not that hard. All you have to do is go up to him and say 'I know we're just friends, but I like you in a more than friend way,' and hope that everything goes fine from there. You could just do it right here, right now. He's your best friend, so I don't think it will hurt your relationship too much if he doesn't feel the same way," PJ says.
"You make it seem so easy, though," I groan.
"Oh, trust me, there are a million other things that I am not afraid to do to get the two of you together. Seriously, if you guys don't start dating soon, I might have to kill someone," PJ says.
"Well, I know that Phil doesn't feel the same way, so I hope you find a victim soon. Choose someone with a bad taste in music, or something," I say. Before I leave, I get closer to PJ. "Also, if it's really that easy, Chris is literally standing right there," I whisper, making sure that only he could hear, considering Chris was right there. PJ goes bright red and I just walk away laughing. I desperately look for another person to hang around, but I fail to find someone other than Phil, who was busy talking to someone else at the moment, so I go and stand in the doorway. Watching Phil from a distance, I watch as a big smile spreads across his face, making his dazzling blue eyes crinkle up like they always do whenever Phil is really happy. It was probably a joke someone made. Phil's eyes drift over to mine, and after locking with them for a second I break the contact and stare at the wall to my left, blushing madly. As I continued to stare at the ground, I don't see Phil walking towards me.
"Hey," he says, smiling. I look, just acknowledging his presence.
"Hi," I say, my cheeks a bright, crimson color. Hopefully it was dark enough for Phil not to notice.
"I was just talking to the Harries twins and they might be coming over to collab," Phil said, excitedly.
"Oh, that's cool," I say, slightly jealous. I always got this way whenever another person got to be with Phil, without me.
"Of course, only if it's fine with you," Phil said.
"No no no, it's fine Phil, really," I say, giving him a small smile. He smiles back and my cheeks get redder. After a few seconds of silence, I stare at nothing and begin to think. What would happen if I just told Phil how I felt about him? I mean, it's almost the New Year. New Year is the time for change, isn't it? Ugh, what am I thinking? Who cares what time of the year it is, that's not going to change how Phil feels about me.
"Hey, Dan," Phil says, nudging me slightly, snapping me back into reality.
"Yeah?" I say, turning my attention to him. He smiles cheekily and points up. Giving him a confused look, I follow his finger with my eyes and look up. Mistletoe. I was standing under the mistletoe with Phil-fucking-Lester. I look back at Phil and I swear I saw his eyes sparkle before he started leaning in. Wait, is this actually happening? Is Phil actually doing this? Is this even real life? Phil's lips get closer and I can feel is warm breath softly landing on my lips. He's so close. So close until literally my dreams actually come true. It feels as if the world is slowing down and there's nothing else but Phil and I. It feels like it's been a million years before his lips finally touch mine, but then his lips softly meet mine and my eyes are blurred by fireworks. I'm so shocked it takes me a few seconds it process what's really happening before I can get my lips to work. I kiss him back with all the passion and love that I had been holding back for the past year or so. He gets the hint and hangs his arms around my neck, kissing me back more strongly. I wrap my arms around his waist, pulling him closer. My heart feels like it's flying and my thoughts are clouded with just the single thought that Phil Lester, the man that I loved, was actually kissing me. Phil pulled away and looked into my eyes, the ocean-blue color I loved appearing to be shining, a look of pure happiness on his face. I rest my forehead on his.
"I love you, Phil," I whisper.
"I love you too," Phil says, smiling. Our lips reconnect, and it feels as if I'm floating. I was convinced that I was actually dreaming all of this, so I clutched tightly to the fabric of Phil's shirt, scared that if I didn't, he was going to disappear out of my arms. I lost sense of all reality. I was over the moon. When we eventually pulled back, Phil giggle and pulled me out into the dance floor, where we stayed connected, side by side, for the rest of the night.
