The Dream World Collective

64. Different

"Jillian Wagner."

The girl offered Summer a toothy grin and loose handshake, then began explaining her art. "I just think it's really important in times like this to turn back to something solid, dependable. We need a return to good old American values. Hard work, love for..."

Summer didn't care at all. Her eyes passed carelessly over Jillian's paintings. The American flag figured prominently in most of them. One, a still life centered on a slice of apple pie, was simply titled Peace. Beside it were Homeland, The Rest We Long For, and Heroes in Peril. But Summer's mind was whirling. She couldn't even muster basic sarcasm, much less the tirade Jillian deserved.

Alex.

Sushi's voice had echoed the word endlessly in her head. Was she being a hypocrite? A total coward? And what if she never did give her feelings a chance with Alex?

Unable to take more of Jillian's happy prattling, she gave her a sick half-smile and moved on, working to avoid the other contest entrants who were mounting their works of art.

Doubt congealed in her belly. It was different with Alex, right? Ari was just some guy. If things went wrong, Sushi never had to see him again. But Alex lived in her house. The reality of that hit her again. She was living with Alex. She felt a blush creep through her hair and gave her dreadlocks an angry shake.

So what if she didn't push things forward for a while? How much more did she really want, anyway? And it was an idiot move to start a romance with a housemate. Everyone knew it.

But she was lying. She did want more. Again her mind flicked to the hours they'd spent together the first day in the new house. It was good spending time together, working together, but she wanted them to fit together, to be Alex and Summer. It was different.

Suddenly Sushi tackled her with an excited arm over the shoulders.

"Come on, we're getting celebratory food!"

It took Summer a moment to come back to where she was.

"What? Oh. Food."

It appeared Ari was coming too. Behind his back, Summer and Sushi exchanged a look. Inconclusive but promising, was the substance of Sushi's unspoken report. She trotted up to brush by Ari.

"So where are we going?" she asked, coy and direct and not obvious at all.

Ari looked at her for a long moment. Summer noticed that his eyes reflected the same sort of deep steadiness that she saw in Alex's. And that took her back into it. Alex had an incredible capacity to take on responsibility, to face hard questions. Maybe she could just tell him how she felt and let him make the call. She corrected herself. It would be his call anyway, of course, but she began to realize she could trust him to be able to deal with the question along with her.

A great heaviness lifted out of her. She could tell him, not like a pathetic girl crushing on a guy and throwing herself at him, but like equals, like two grown-ups making a decision together. No, she thought, way too dry. Like real friends being honest, trusting each other with what was important, unfolding life together to see what was inside.

So that was that. She'd tell him and let him wrestle the issue out along with her. And with the decision she fell for him even more. There was a sense of intimacy that bubbled into her along with the trust, before the conversation even happened.

She bounced out of the door after Sushi and Ari.

"Guys, wait up!"