Chapter 21

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Hey guys! Hope you enjoy the chapter ❤️ warning, kinda sad
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Michael's POV

I walk with Gavin into the canteen and we both get food, its pizza night and I get 2 slices. We walk over to the table where Ryan is sitting with Jack. We sit down and Gavin holds my hand under the table. I take a bite of my pizza and Barb smiles at me whilst Gav squeezes my hand and leans over to me "I'm so proud of you Micoo!" He whispers happily and I feel a warmth spread throughout my body, starting at my chest, and my hand tingles where Gav touches me. I lean in to him and whisper in his ear "thank you, my boi." We eat dinner and go to the rec room. Me, Gav, Ryan and Jack start playing a game called cloudberry kingdom. We try something new for this game though, and hook up some stuff, I don't know, Ryan is the tech guy, which records the screen. Gav said he could edit it and we should upload it to youtube. We have a great time playing it and making dumb comments and by the end of it our cheeks hurt from smiling so much. By the time we stop its 11pm and we realise we should probably go to sleep, especially as Ryan and Jack have roommates that they don't want to wake up. Me and Gav say bye to the guys and walk into our room, taking off our clothes and crawling into bed in our boxers. I lie on my back and Gav snuggles up to my chest, making me smile down at him and kiss the top of his head. We lay in silence for a while, just hugging each other, when I hear Gavin whisper, "Hey, Micoo?" He sounds so scared that I wonder if he just woke up from a nightmare, "what's up boi?"

"Can I tell you something?" I smile at his nervousness slightly but panic, should I be nervous too? Why is he so scared. "Of course boi, anything." I tell him honestly, sitting up slightly and pulling him closer into my chest.

"I hate myself Micoo, I wanted to die I hate myself so much," he pauses and tears form in my eyes and I feel my heart break, I look down at him and see a river of tears fall silently down his face, I hug him tighter and let him continue. "I still hate myself Micoo, but I don't want to die anymore, and I think it's because of you. I wanted to die, I almost did, then I met you, and I became obsessed with how adorable and amazing and perfect you are. I fell in love with you, and I love you so much I sort of forgot that I hate myself." He says the whole thing with his head on my chest above my heart, staring at the wall. I have tears streaming down my face now, as does he, but mine are a mix of happy and sad. Gavin just told me he loves me and I am so happy I can not explain it, like there are no words, but he also told me he still hates himself and I don't know how because he's the most perfect person I've ever laid eyes on. I put my index finger under his chin and pull his face up to look at me. I look into his beautiful green eyes and see fear and nervousness. I kiss his nose and smile gently. "Gavin, you are the most perfect person I have ever laid eyes on and you have no idea how happy I am that your attempt failed because I am so fucking happy I met you. You are honestly amazing Gav, and I have no idea what is happening in your mind that makes you hate this beautiful amazing person I'm looking at but I do know that I will help you get through these thoughts. I love you Gavin David Free, and I hope you never forget that." I'm still looking into his eyes and he has tears streaming down his cheeks, but I see love and happiness in his eyes, as well as sadness. I wipe away his tears and slowly pull his face up to me and kiss his lips gently. He kisses back for a minute before I pull back and we lie there together. After about 10 minutes he talks again. "What's it like Micoo?" He asks quietly. "What's what like Gavvy?" I ask confused. "What's it like to be happy?" He asks sadly.

"I'll show you one day, my boi, I promise." I whisper and then he adds "will you help me? I feel like you're the only one who can help. The darkness is suffocating me, but when I'm near you I can see a light in the distance and sometimes its only small and dim but sometimes, like when you said you love me, it gets bigger and takes over more darkness. I don't like the dark anymore Micoo." He says quietly and he sounds so scared. I kiss him on the top of the head. "I promise you, I will always be your light, I will drag you out of the dark, you don't have to suffocate anymore, I love you Gavin." I pull the black ring I always wear off my finger and put it on his, "its a promise ring, it's my promise to you, and whenever you feel the darkness start to suffocate you, you look at the ring and remember that I'm not going anywhere and that I love you, more than life itself, because you're my boi, Gavvy, and one day I will show you how much you mean to me." He smiles at me "I love you too Micoo." He lays his head on my chest again and falls asleep, my ring around his finger.

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Eyyyyyy end of the chapter! Only a few left guys, I'm getting emotional! Anyways I hope you like it! I only posted it now because I have exams next week that I haven't revised for and I'm procrastinating... Anyway, love you loads ❤️❤️❤️

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