Falling Angels kennyxreader Completed

CHP04: On the Wrong Side

I thought about Karen all day, well not Karen exactly but our conversation. I met ____ only last year, it was one of the many reasons why I had asked her out. That and she didn't look too bad (Okay so she was totally hot). The conversation with Karen was more than uncomfortable it made me look like an asshole especially if anyone was eavesdropping in on our convesation. Are you new to South Park, because HEY if you don't know that's all everyone does just exactly that NOTHING ever happens here so when something sounds juicy you bet your tight sweet honey ass you listen in, DUH! Now everyone is going to be looking at me like, 'hey there's that one asshole.' On top of everything we're still the poor family in South Park. ____ had a small family and lived in conditions only slightly better than my family's. That's something else I liked about her, she really seemed to love me for me. She could care less about money, to put it simply... She didn't have it.

Thinking about ____ didn't cut it though, I had to see her. Maybe seeing her, I could finally answer Karen's question, 'do you love her?' Did I love ___? I certainly thought about her all the time...

"Kenny?" What? Was that ____? Her voice.. "why'd you want to meet up? Something wrong? I was actually going to call..." It was, it was ___! Why the hell was Kenny focusing so intensely on his thoughts. He was still sorting through them when ___ appeared. He quickly forced himself to snap out of it.

He stared at ____ who was waiting for him to acknowledge her. She was beautiful. She was wearing a simple T-shirt and black pants. She had a nice smile on her face which was contagious. Seeing her now, made it official. He loved her. Her delicate voice, her smile, her simplicity. All of it. He loved her with more than he could imagine. "___... I just... I-"

"You can't finish your sentence. Great, just like you. Look I've been trying to muster up the courage to call you..." Her tone made him snap out of his mystified gaze, was she angry? 

"Why didn't you just call, I would've picked up..." The blond said slowly.

"Stop." Kenny obliged and listened, his smile along with hers slowly disappearing. "I wanted the courage to tell you-" The world slowed down, maybe even stopped. Kenny bit his lip, was this really happening? ____, please she couldn't finish that sentence she couldn't, no... "I want to break up." He could've collapsed right there her icy glare tried reading him but he kept his stoic stare.

He wanted to scream, wanted to cry even. It felt like he had been punched in the stomach. He looked at her anger seamed through her eyes.  Instead of going mad, and giving her all the strings he took a deep breath and mustered a fake smirk. "Whatever..." He flipped her off and ran off. He couldn't break his composure.  When he turned to flee tears escaped. He was pissd pissed at Karen, at his mom, at ____, at his dad, even Kevin, but mostly at himself...

Kenny stared at the stars. They seemed so distant so out of reach, what did he seem to the stars. To the people who were up there the people so much bigger than him? Were they out there? He laughed, yeah they were. He had been up there heaven, even down, hell. Did they give two shits about him? He shook his head, probably not. He was so small, Karen even smaller no one cared it was him against everything. ____, Karen finally knocked some sense into him and now.... She didn't love him probably didn't even like him. It hurt so much, it fucking hurt he'd take anything else than this. He sighed looking at his wrists. He'd never considered anything like that since he tried making a point to the guys as Mysterion. Now he didn't want to make a point, he just wanted the pain in his heart to stop, even if it meant that his heart needed to stop beating.

Kenny remembered when he had died and stayed that way for so long. It was something he never talked about. He could pick and choose when to go back some could say he had the best of both worlds. Life was just so utterly depressing and dying from a muscular disease hurt so fuking bad that he didn't want to go back to Earth. Dying that way had gotten him sympathy points  with the Big Guy and he got to go hang out in heaven instead of downstairs with Satan. As a cursed child he had to die there was no stopping it, all his memories from that day were put into a memory bank that belonged to whatever asshole that had cursed him. The only perk he got from his curse that he could pick and choose when to come back except sometimes when they had a 24 hour waiting period (because Annie at the front desk of purgatory is a bitch). At first he didn't believe it, refused to risk it but life had crushed him and heaven was too relaxing to leave. Now looking up at the stars Kenny thought back to heaven, he wouldn't go there if his wrists were slit by his own hands. The Big Guy wouldn't like that, mortal sin didn't really get you to heaven.  He'd spend the night in hell then he'd want to come crawling back to Earth where no one would remember his grimsly death. ____, if she only knew.

Escaping reality, sex, drugs, girls... Gateways to fantasy. It's all he wanted to escape his reality, if only ___ knew. If only she knew. He looked at his wrists again, if he died he'd spend the day in hell and ____ would be alone... And single...  Would she move on diligently, would she mourn him, or would she say 'screw that asshole!' and get with any fuck boy at their school(damn did Kenny fucking hate Craig). Suddenly that question burned in his chest. Would she? Technically they were over but still... Would she care... His mind was on autopilot now.  The knife in his pocket became heavy. 

He had forgotten how delicate his skin was. How with only one swift motion it opened gaping with red crimson blood. Forgotten the smell of death on his doorstop. He wanted to swear at the pain but now after dying all his life the pain felt numb. He'd be dead by midnight.