New Found Freedom - Kylo Ren x Reader

Chapter 10

The Temple has been very kind to you and your comrades. But although you've learned a lot from just being in a place with much history, you feel like it's just not getting to you. You're where all the very best Sith's have trained and yet you can't feel the underlying power that this place holds. You assume it has something to do with being concussed for three weeks, and you hope it's nothing more than that.

But you're not the only one feeling this way recently. Kylo hasn't been feeling well either, and although he hasn't told you himself, while his more special Force power is telepathy, yours is empathy. You can always feel when others emotions are lingering. You just don't know why Kylo is feeling this way. You want to get down to it, it doesn't set right with you when he's not feeling well and you don't know why. But it's so hard to get through to him.

Today he has spent nearly the whole day in your chambers. You take this as the time to figure out what's wrong.

"Kylo, there's something you're not telling me. You know I can feel it when you're upset. Don't hide from me anymore." You shake his shoulder as he sits on the bed with his face in his hands.

"I've done something horrible." He says quietly. You're surprised he's opening up so quick.

"Tell me."

"I don't know if you know this or not, Y/N, but I am the son of Leia Organa and Han Solo." He looks up at you, and now you're holding his face in your hands.

"I didn't know that, Kylo..." You stare at him.

"And that name - Kylo Ren... it was given to me by Supreme Leader Snoke. I was born with the name Ben Solo." His eyes look even more broken than they ever have before. This is all news to you. He never told you any of this before.

"You're the son of the general of the Resistance?"

"I am. Han Solo came to rescue Rey the day they destroyed the base, and he found me." He can't even look at you anymore, he pulls his face out of your grasp and wipes his eyes.

"What did you do, Kylo?" You cover your mouth, fearing his answer.

"I killed Han Solo. I killed my father!" He cries, hiding his face as the tears run down his cheeks.

And you're piecing it together, he's upset, he's afraid. He's angry at himself. But why? Why is the deadliest person you know so afraid right now?

"Why did you do it? Why was it hard?" You ask.

"Snoke told me it would cease the call from the light." He wipes his cheeks.

"You felt a call from the light? You, Kylo Ren?" This is a surprise to you.

"Yes. I feel it every week. I believed Leader Snoke, I thought killing my father would make it go away but it has only made it worse. The guilt is consuming me." He stands, walking to the other side of the bed.

"Have you ever thought that maybe this isn't where you belong? Maybe the dark side is not where you belong?" You walk to him, your hand placing itself on his shoulder again.

"This is all I have ever known, Y/N!" He shouts. "Ever since I was 10 years old, I was sent to my uncle's Jedi Academy, but I felt the darkness inside of me. I felt Snoke's voice in my head telling me things, and I knew they weren't my own thoughts at first. But the lines faded as I got older, I couldn't tell the difference between his voice in my head and mine. All I knew is that something was pulling me to the darkness and I didn't have the strength to fight it anymore."

You are heartbroken. This man you know to be the strongest, darkest powerful force was manipulated into believing he's something he isn't.

"He told me my grandfather is Darth Vader, and I used that as my motivation, I wanted to be just like him. Now I don't know what I want to be. I don't feel like I belong anywhere. I don't think I can ever go back to my mother, I doubt she ever wants to see me again after what I did."

You do the only thing you feel like you can do right now. You take him in, wrapping him in your arms even though you're much smaller than him. You hold him, the way he held you when you needed it on that first day of training. "Kylo.." You say, but he stops you.

"Call me Ben, please." He whispers and you nod.

"Of course.. Ben, I want you to know that I'm so proud of you. Not for what you've done, but for right now. You're showing your emotion in a healthy way. Instead of causing destruction like you usually do when you don't know how else to let out your feelings, you're talking to me. You're strong, Ben. You don't need to be anything you don't want to be. You're going to figure this out. You'll get through this. I know you will." You kiss his forehead.

He looks at you and gives you the faintest smile. For the first time, someone believes in him. Someone believes in Ben Solo, not Kylo Ren.