Thomas Sangster x Reader ~ Just a dream?

Part 14

"He was just talking about the funfair" Isabella explained.
"It was great."
You agreed and hoped that this fitted at least a bit to what he'd said.

"If I'm honest, I'm no person for roller coasters, too much speed, and then the height..." Isabella laughed.

"Oh, I love roller coasters.
The next time you go on one, you have to invite me as well!" Kaya said.
"Me too!" Dylan added and Isabella sighed ironically.
"I'm surrounded by rollercoaster-lovers!"
"At least your cake is really good." Thomas said and smiled at her.
"Awh, thank you" She grinned back and put her hand in his neck to pull him closer.

You looked away since you knew what was going on.
There was a terrible pain in your chest and it wouldn't stop.

"You two" Dylan said, "Are just the cutest."
"I ship it!" Kaya agreed and by the faces of Thomas, Isabella and Dylan, you could tell that they had no idea what it actually meant.
As soon as you noticed that Tom and Isabella were holding hands under the table, you felt like puking.

"Wanna explain it to them, y/n?" Kaya asked.
"Uhm...it's basically when you love the idea of two people being in-...
Could you just give me a minute?
I'd like to go to the bathroom, please."
You didn't want to throw up in front of them.
What was happening?

"Is everything alright, hon?" Isabella replied gently.
"I'm fine, thanks. I'll be right back."

You hurried to get into the smaller bathroom next to the door.
Everything blurred before your eyes and you breathed heavily.
Your throat was so dry that you felt like you were being choked.

Was this a panic attack?
You switched on the sink and sprinkled the cold water in your face.
It helped. You put your cold wet hands in your neck after sitting down on the toilet lid.

Breathe, you told yourself. Everything will be fine. Just calm down.

Then the tears were dripping out of your eyes.

At first it weren't many, but only a moment later, it felt like waterfalls were running down your cheeks.
It wouldn't stop and it only became worse as you were focusing on making as little sound as possible.

Gasping for breath and crying like a baby, you leaped to the door and locked it.
The last thing you wanted was for Thomas to see you like that.

You sat back down and focused on the voice in your head:
Shh. Everything will be fine.
Don't cry.
This day is supposed to be perfect, right?
Be strong. Go back out there.
Don't ruin everything.

In that moment you noticed that the voice telling you this was Thomas'.
Sometimes, when you knew someone's voice quite well,
you could build up sentences in your mind that sounded like they were saying it, even though they never did.

This is what was happening right now, and it clearly wasn't helping in this situation.

More tears came streaming down your face.