Love Arranged (#1)

Chapter Five

Chapter Five: Maggie

Days have passed since my last encounter with him. With Evan and much like I was that day, I'm pretty sure of one thing as always.

Pretty sure that my life is now very much over.

Okay, that's borderline over-exaggerating, but you get the picture.

Ever since that day, I was pretty much in a neutral state of mind. For example, after the whole incident, I came back home feeling pretty proud of myself, giving myself a mental pat on the back whilst simultaneously chanting at the back of my head "Yeah! You showed him who's boss!"

I had that mentality. The invincible, no one can touch me now mentality.

Then the much more logical but rather anxious side of my brain interrupted my moment of victory. Little by little, a whole recap of what had really happened sunk in and made me realize what I had just done, and to say the mental voice that blossomed afterward due to the moment of recollection, was a tad bit less encouraging this time.

Troubled thoughts instantly came spiraling down such as ones like "Oh my God, what have I just done? What was I thinking? Was I even thinking straight?"

All the way to "He's gonna kill me. He's gonna kill me and he's probably gonna ask every student to gang up on me and beat me to a pulp like what they did in that Taiwanese drama."

Or even more ridiculous ones such as "I should just move to Alaska, what's even the point of living at this point? I should just set myself on fire."

I was in a major frenzy, and it didn't help when I realized I had more time to regret all my life choices considering it was Friday, meaning I wouldn't be able to see Evan for two whole days after our last encounter. Giving myself more time to commit to the actions that I've made.

Which you think would be a tad bit therapeutic, right? Wrong.

Absolutely, goddamn wrong.

* * *

I've reached a whole new level of complete and utter insanity.

With the amount of time both Saturday and Sunday had provided for me to reevaluate my life choices, it was also probably enough time for me to go bald in such a short amount of time due to the excessive amount of hair pulling I've done with realizing how reckless I was.

But then it'll vaguely bounce back to being absolutely crazy to me being absolutely calm. Reassuring myself that "Yeah, he deserved it. What I did was right." that I wouldn't even be surprised if everyone around me assumed I had gone completely mad at this point.

That's what happened on both Saturday and Sunday, but when it came to the following morning where I was forced to go back to school, that's a whole new topic.

Down to the moment I woke up, got ready, and even when I was drying my hair I was continuously mouthing to myself "You'll do great, he won't be able to do anything."

But then it'll suddenly transition to:

"Oh my god, he's probably gonna run me over with his car the SECOND I step into school. You might as well set yourself on fire now. Like right now. Seriously, do it."

My mother probably sensed the overwhelming panic radiating off me from a couple of doors down, especially when I had gotten down to eat breakfast. I had the kind of body language that showed I was more than ready to karate chop anyone's head off if they even looked at me the wrong way, and she was instantly aware of it.