Warm Heart, Cold Hands

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WARNING: FEELS AHEAD~!

I've decided to try a more somber drabble, to break the monotony. It's still fluff, but bittersweet fluff. A bit AU as well.

Enjoy :)

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It was early when the tapping began.

The full moon hung lazily in the evening sky, and an icy winter breeze rustled the leaves. My mind drifted in and out of sleep, both exhausted and wired. My digital clock told me it was half past four in glaring green numerals.

So it was Valentine's Day at last.

Not long ago I would have dreaded the day, with couples showing way too much PDA all around me.  I could only look forward to the masses of candy that would be on sale the next day. But that year was different. That year, I had Mark. We had been dating for several months and we had been looking forward to our first Valentine's Day together.

The tapping on my window began when the numbers read 4:36. It was a steady clinking against the glass. I groaned, wanting to ignore it. But my pillows didn't block out the noise, so I resolved to figure out what it was. Swinging my legs over the edge of the bed, I shivered at the cold in my room. I went to the window, peering down with eyes squinted with sleepiness.

When I saw where the noise was coming from - small bits of gravel being tossed at my window - I sighed heavily. Sliding the window open brought a rush of cold February air into my face. I shuddered. "Mark, what are you doing? It's the middle of the night!"

"It's Valentine's Day!

"Yes, but it's still only half past four!"

Mark shrugged. "Couldn't wait. C'mon, throw on a coat. I want to show you something."

I grunted but smiled, shaking my head. "Fine." I pulled on some old sneakers and the warmest coat I could find. Mark was waiting just outside the door when I came out. "Alright, what is this spectacular thing I need to see?"

"Hop in the car, it's warmer," Mark said cryptically, bounding over to get in the driver's seat. We drove for thirty minutes, away from the buildings and out into the wide fields and sloping hills of rural Cincinnati.

"I'm so glad you came home for Valentine's Day," I said quietly.

Mark smiled at me, but there was something sad in his eyes. "So am I."

I wanted to ask him why he seemed so aloof and distant, but decided against it. It was early, after all. We kept driving, and I must have fallen asleep, because when my eyes opened, Mark had slowed and pulled onto a narrow road that wound up a small hill and ended in a roundabout. Mark turned off the car, pulled a bundle of blankets out of the back, and told me to follow him. There was a single bench at the top of the hill, overlooking the skyline. Mark wrapped a fluffy blanket around the two of us as we sat, and put another one over our legs. Snuggling close, we peered out over the bright lights of Cincinnati.

"How's your family doing? Have you gotten to see them?" I asked quietly, stretching my legs out over Mark's lap.

"I saw them," he said. "They're doing fine."

"Good." I still felt as though something was off. "Mark, is everything okay?"

He smiled, but it was a tight smile. "Yeah." He took my hand. His fingers weren't as warm as I expected them to be. "Everything's fine." A beat passed. "Y/N, you know I love you, right?"

"Of course I do," I said. "I love you too." I rested my head on his shoulder. "Why are you talking like that?"

"I just love you so much," Mark replied quietly. "Not just on a day like today, though; I love you every day, unconditionally, without hesitation." He pressed a kiss to my forehead. His stubble rubbed against my skin. The love I felt for him then was not some cheap, cliched attraction, but something solid and true that could have survived anything, for all eternity. Never in my life had I ever been so lucky as to meet someone so charming and kind.

I laughed quietly. "You're such a sap."

Mark hummed. "Maybe so. But you like it."

"Okay, so I kind of like it," I admitted. Then, I noticed that the lighting around us had changed. Everything was bathed in the orange glow of the sunrise, and as we watched, the sun peeked out from behind the horizon. I felt its warmth fall upon my face.

"Y/N."

"Yeah?"

Mark paused. "Things are going to be different after tonight."

"What do you mean?" I frowned, lifting my head. I was startled to see tears in Mark's eyes. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," Mark said. "Nothing's...everything is okay. But...Y/N, you're going to have to be strong for me, alright?"

"Why?"

Mark shook his head. "Y/N, don't you remember?"

Fear began to squeeze me in its vice-like grip. "Remember what?"

Mark's dark eyes met mine. And, suddenly, I did remember something. I remembered the sound of squealing tires. I remembered a harsh crunching and the feeling of weightlessness; garbled voices, flashing lights, and the warmth seeping away from me. "Mark, did we...?"

"Yes." Mark said quietly. "About two hours ago. They took us to a hospital, but the damage was irreversible."

"But I was at home!" I cried. "I woke up at home!"

Mark held onto my arms. "So did I," he said. "That's why I came to find you. That's why I brought you here, where we were trying to go. So I could tell you the truth."

The lights in my memory, I recalled, began to fade into darkness. There was beeping, slow and unsure, and then a steady tone, followed by the distinct words:

"Time of death: four thirty-two A.M."

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⏰ Last updated: Feb 14, 2016 ⏰

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