V I G I L A N C E ~ (MCU) ~

C H A P T E R 7_

That's when he kicks a stool like it's nothing, watching it crash into the wall and break as he lets out a scream of agony and anger. His magic lets any debris in the room fly from its spot and smash against the concrete walls.

He stands there for a moment until he slumps against the pillar behind him, breathing hard as he stares upwards but besides that I can't see his face.

I slowly walk over to him.

He is looking towards the smoke covered sky, his eyes glazed with tears and his lungs gasping for air he slides down to sit on the ground, his back against the pillar.

"Loki?" I ask in a slightly wavering voice.

When he realizes I'm there he shuts his eyes and turns away from me, ashamed as he puts his hand to his face to hide it.

I reach him and I crouch down beside him. My face is grieved like his is, darkened by the sight I just saw, same as him. I hesitate before whispering, "It's okay."

He doesn't do anything until he brings his knees up and crosses his arms on them, burying his face there and I can tell he's shedding tears.

I hesitantly take a seat beside him... and place my hand on his back and I begin to rub circles on it to help calm him down. I can feel pain and anger radiating off of him. It is raging throughout him. I have never seen nor felt him this upset. Ever. It is very strange to see him showing emotions. My hand hesitates on his back and I shut my eyes, feeling his coarse breathing and agony through me. It reflects my own emotions... and I rest my head against his shoulder, my other hand holding his upper arm near where my mouth is.

He doesn't answer, staying completely silent and still for a long moment... I think it's finally sinking in what happens as a result of war. The innocent die in horrible ways. With what he was seeking before, under part control of Thanos, was something he never truly thought through. And even if he did, whatever magic he was partly under kept him from any mercy... And now he's seeing everything firsthand. The sight what I saw could make any large man shed tears no matter how tough. War is devastating. And death is never to be joked about.

I remain there against him and shut my eyes, not afraid of him and not caring about what he did before. He's no longer that person—if he ever actually was in the first place. He didn't kill my parents. He didn't murder all those people. It was Thanos. And now Loki is receiving the pain of his mistake to trust a being that evil and deceptive. He is shown the horrors of bloodshed and death like never before.

And I too am being shown it firsthand. I used to not care who got killed if they deserved it... but now I don't want anyone to ever die like that. I can't stand it. It's wrong. And that child... that dead child stabs me in the heart like I wouldn't expect.

I can't make myself cry, though my insides feel like they want to. I just feel too heartbroken to shed a tear... as if I have run dry.

After a long moment of quiet between us as the horrid things that took place sink in, Loki finally moves. He sits up slowly and leans back, his eyes holding previous tears, the white of them showing a light pink. He stares ahead with a plain and sullen expression, his face calm.

I pick my head up and I place my hands in my lap. "...Are you feeling a little bit better?"

"I don't know why you worry about me," he says coldly and looks away. "I've done nothing to earn your concern."

I play with my fingers and sniff. "You saved my life. Twice. It doesn't matter if you think that you haven't earned it, you have. And I worry about you, because you barely show emotion and then at certain points all of those emotions just come out in waves."