Paper Airplanes (Ereri - SNK)

Changes.

I could only nod. Move where? Do what? I didn't know. Still don't. That day a loneliness greater than the one I'd already been feeling had settled over and hadn't lifted since. And it's been two years...

Two months after Rory was born, they moved from the castle and found a fairly large house in Trost. I remember Jean saying over and over how he wanted to move outside the walls but they were unable to because we hadn't expanded that far yet.

Sasha and Connie followed soon after, finding a similar house in the same area together. They were 'just friends' as they continued to say over and over to a castle full of people who weren't buying it.

Several others followed in their tracks, as if Jean and Mikasa were the ones to break the ice and the uneasiness of leaving, like they expected to hear news of more titans trampling our way any day. The last titan sighting, though, was nearly four years ago. We're safe. And they decided to make lives for themselves.

That left four. Erwin, who's still on military business with the Garrison regiment in maintaining the walls and working on rebuilding humanity. Hanji, who's doing their absolute best to research the origin of titans and study them as best they can with what little scientific evidence they had left. Armin, who's helping both Hanji and Erwin, using his brilliant brain for things I regret to say I haven't paid much attention to.

And myself, who does little more than sleep, draw, and avoid therapy appointments. I'll visit Mikasa on occasion, but it's usually with Armin who generally has to talk me into it. Rory's bigger every time we make an appearance, learning to hold his own bottle and then graduating to eating mushy foods, sitting up without support and then crawling, holding himself up on his feet using furniture or the nearest leg, and then beginning to walk. His hair grew out, thick and black just like Mikasa's, until it was a fluff over his head that was forced to get trimmed. He's the most innocent thing I've ever seen, and I'd be lying if I said I don't fall for the little pumpkin a little more every time I see him.

* * *

In two years, I've been through three sketchbooks, most of which suffer the fate of having most of its pages torn out, folded into airplanes, and sent soaring over the wall and to the outside world with a different drawing. Some pages remained; I have to have some things to show Thomas. Why I continue to sneak up to the top of Wall Maria several times a week like those stupid pieces of paper reach him, I don't know. All I can say is it's become routine, that it's the only purpose my life really has anymore...

* * *

Presently, I'm sitting down to breakfast with Armin--well, breakfast for him; all I have is tea; I eat very little anymore--in the mess hall. His hair hangs around his shoulders, a bit of stubble peppering his chin. I often find myself looking at him in disbelief at how much he's grown up since the days Mikasa and I had to rescue him from bullies, or when his wit saved me several times in the past.

"We're planning a trip," he announces before digging into his first bite.

"What kind of trip?"

"A trip beyond the walls for the first time since the titans went extinct." I flinch - the word titan still strikes anger and fear inside my PTSD-ridden brain. Armin's eyes sparkle as he continues. "It's an expedition of sorts, but this time it'll be to discover things we've never seen."

"Like what?" Surprisingly, I have a considerable amount of interest in this.

"Like seeing what civilization was like before they appeared. Or, at least, what's left of what we think is there. And to find out how big the world really is, if our small minds are even capable of comprehending such enormity." He pauses to take another bite, takes a swig of milk, and trains those excited sky blue eyes right on me. "But our ultimate goal is to find the ocean."