Ashleap's Fall

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It's greenleaf again. The warmth is almost smothering, and I'm in the medicine den with suntouched herbs wafting into my nose. Their combined scent is almost overpowering, to the point to where my eyes begin to water just sitting there, so close I could almost taste them if I stuck my tongue out.

I'm about to get to my paws when he tackles me, the two of us rolling over until I'm on my back against the wall of the medicine den. I stare up into his excited eyes and nudge him with one paw, drawing his face away from mine. "Nice to see you, you silly tom."

"Well, well, well. It's nice to see you too, Ashleap."

My ears twitch as he says my name, drawing it out for a painfully long time. Something about it feels unfamiliar. I shake my head, pushing him off and getting to my paws. My legs shake uncontrollably of their own accord, as if trembling in fear of some greater power.

"Is something wrong?" he asks.

"No." I say firmly, though my whole body feels like I'm on the brink of collapse. "I'm fine."

"In that case..." Pyrewing purrs. "Meet me over by the Highfall. Brownfur should be finishing his vigil any moment."

I nod. "I'll be right there." As he walks away, I stride to the fresh-kill pile and sink my teeth into a rabbit. It's repugnantly juicy, the taste so intense that it makes me spit it out. "Ugh!"

I look around, trying to find somewhere to wipe the taste from my mouth, and instinctively turn to the left.

There's nothing there but more trees, making me feel foolish. What was I looking for, exactly?

Instead, I catch Infernoleap's eyes, meeting his glower with confusion. Though he's usually crabby, today he looks downright angry. Is something bothering him?

"Are you alright?" I ask, my voice flat and uninterested as I walk towards him and sit down again.

He hisses, turning his back to me. "You don't understand how lucky you are."

"What? Is this about Brownfur? Pyrewing? Infernoleap, for the last time, you're part of my family too and-"

"Oh, we know that's not true."

"What?"

"I'm an outcast in my own clan. Sometimes I just want to run away and-" For a second, one perfect breath, his fur is black instead of red and his eyes are a familiar gold. He looks almost foxlike.

"I recognize you." I say.

He opens his mouth to reveal fox teeth. "You have to get out."

"Ashleap!" Pyrewing calls my name,

There are stars inside of his eyes.

Then they're gone.

"I'll be back." I promise.

"Don't bother."

Ignoring his contemptful meow, I walk back to Brownfur and Pyrewing.

"How'd it go?"I ask Brownfur.

My son purrs warmly, though his eyes are blurred over with sleepiness. "S'fine. Tidalwave... she and I... mates."

I manage to muster up some astonishment for his sake, trying to deal with the continued shaking that has crept its way up and is now making my whole body shiver involuntarily. "T-that's great news!"
"I'm just... glad. This family. The clan. Everything is finally pulling together." Brownfur says.

"This is the best day of my life." Pyrewing says. His voice is off. Forced. In an odd way... it's almost like he's threatening me.

I feel like I should be happy, but within me there's only a hollow void of emptiness. I try to conjure up even the most halfhearted of purrs to find that I can feel nothing at all.