Ashleap's Fall

Keeper

I settle back into the medicine den, the soothing scent of the nearby herbs tickling my nose. Purring, I stretch out, shifting around leaves below my belly. In spite of myself, I must admit that ancient DragonClan had some really comfy nests. I begin to feel lightheaded. Am I sleepy already? It's hardly midday, though taking a nap might clear my head and help me stall out a few more hours. Any time I can spend not getting into social interaction is time well spent.

Infernoleap nudges his way in and sits down beside me. He notices how tired I am immediately, sliding in next to me with a cocky expression as he stretches out. For such a seemingly shallow and self-centered tom, he's very good at reading me.

A blinding pulse of pain makes my head burn. I feel dizzy as bright white light clouds my vision. "Ack!"

"What's wrong?" he asks. "Are you seeing them?"

I shake my head. "I can't-"

Home. There's something dark beyond the bright white, coming ever closer to me as the medicine den begins to disappear. I notice Pyrewing from a distance, his voice nothing but a buzz as it falls on my deaf ears.

I let the light wash over me and slowly, the dark figure from before becomes more catlike. The spirits thrash around in my head as I am woken awake... awake? Was I asleep? Was the entire old DragonClan nothing but a dream delusion?

The blurry figure has dark fur. Their presence is comforting. They paw me again, probably intent on waking me up. "Nova...paw?" I ask.

The figure backs away. I can feel them cringe. "No... it's just me."
The voice.

It's Jetkit.

I stretch my muscles, all of which are burning like grass in a forest fire- quickly and painfully, but soon the pain gives way to a dull throbbing. Looking around, I can see scars on my sides. The battle exhausted me both mentally and physically.

"How long have I been out?" I ask desperately.

"Only a day or so, Rushpaw. It hasn't been that long." Tinyblossom meows. "Glad to have you up."
I look outside, the sunlight searing my suddenly fragile eyes, and I notice Carbonfrost. My heart drops as I remember the events that occurred before I woke up in another medicine den long ago. Ashleap seems to remember that I walked in her pawsteps, at least. I can feel the warm golden glow of her energy flood me, helping me to recover quickly, not too different from warm sunlight or the taste of honey. It's hard to describe properly.

"Oh! Oh! Now that you're up, I have some really exciting news I thought you might want to hear!" Jetkit doesn't sound all that excited, though he seems to be forcing himself to sound that way. Unfortunately, I have more pressing concerns on my mind.

"What happened to my mother?" I ask. "Is she alright?"

Tinyblossom pads towards me and licks me on the head in sympathy, or possibly to take my temperature. "She's dead. Your father isn't doing too well either. He believe he could have saved her."

"Oh." I say. Pain and grief tear at my insides like claws. Even with it's perils, Ashleap's world is feeling like an idyllic paradise in comparison to the reality I currently face.

"Um..." Jetkit nudges me. "Well, if it cheers you up, I have news. I'm going to become the new tunnelkeeper apprentice!"

I nod faintly. It doesn't help, but it at least makes him happier to know I care. "You'll do a great job."

Another cat, flanked by three other cats obscuring her, passes by with an angry hiss. My claws unsheathe and my eyes narrow to slits. "Titanfoot..."

"Stay down!" hisses Tinyblossom, pushing me back down before I even realized my hackles were up. "She'll get her punishment. They're keeping her under heavy guard for now, but there may be exile. Knottedstar hasn't reached a decision yet."

"Why would they hesitate? We need to cast her out! She's dangerous!" I spit, and Hazelwhisker, one of the cats beside Titanfoot, turns to me with narrowed eyes.

"Oh, that's not what the hesitation is for. The question is, if we cast her out, what's to guarantee she won't find some way to pick us off? Anyone ruthless enough to kill a warrior in cold blood isn't going to just give up because we cast her out."

"Then kill her." My voice shakes. "Kill her already."

"Is that the mentality you used when you fought Jade? Not a terribly sound way to decide the fate of other cats." Tinyblossom says. My paws urge to strike out, to show her the mentality I used to fight Jade, but I hold myself back. Instead, my paws slam out sideways as I get up, hoisting myself onto my paws.

"Thanks. I'll be going now."

The wind whistles through my fur. The sky is overcast and it smells like rain. There's something rawer and far more bitter about the air here. It's something I can't quite describe.

Do you want to come back with me?

I tell myself that I'm happy here, despite the death in the air all around me. Titanfoot yells, "You can't stop me! I'll do it again! I'll kill you all! Let me at her! Let me at her!"
The others lean in on her, claws unsheathed, but the only action she makes is to turn contemptuously towards me and give me the death glare. I turn away, boiling with rage, and run immediately into Novakit. His resemblance to Pyrewing is jarring. There are so many things I never noticed about him until I met his littermate across time. The only thing they don't share is the fur color.

"H-hello!" I say.

"Are you alright?" he asks, concerned. "You were out for a whole day. Your heartbeat was fading towards the middle."

"It was?" I muse, astounded. "Really?"
"That's nothing to sound so curious about! You could have died!"

"I know." I snap. "It was nothing but a dream and a long nap. Anyways, there's no reason for you to be so worried. I can handle myself fine."

"That's the thing. I was thinking, I know you still hate me, but... I really would like to at least be friends again, if you can give me the chance. I was terrified when I realized I might lose you. Everything fell into perspective."

I gaze into his eyes. No, says my head. Yes, says my heart. Lunarshine and Ashleap thrash within me. They've seen this before. I get the impression their love lives went very differently.

"We should go to sleep." Novapaw purrs. "I'm glad I finally came around. Losing you would've been one of the worst mistakes I've ever made."

"One of them?" I tease.

"Alright, alright! The single worst. Better?"

I nod. "Much better."

On the edge of my vision, I see Jetkit, his fur bristling. I recognize the jealousy from another life. There's something intensely familiar about those angry eyes, those raised hackles, that vivid pain.

I don't have time for it. I need to get back into my training. I need to get myself together. I'm nine moons old.

Not quite, echo the voices in my head as I lie down between Sparrowpaw and Novapaw like I did as a kit. You're as old as the sun and the moon, a star born from the two brightest bodies of light in the sky.