Masquerade (Liam Payne)

Chapter 30 ~ Tammy

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After the gig, Liam is so knackered that although the others go clubbing —to a place Davide invited them because Louis did apologise to him and everyone else—, Liam and I stay in the hotel. He still has a little fever, so I force him to stay in bed and I manage to make him some soup. I make sure he takes his medicines and try to check his temperature doesn’t increase.

He is watching Batman. I smile because he is a geek and a kid and I know he is embarrassed to tell me that he loves Disney movies, especially Toy Story an that he has an slightly obsession with Batman. However, I’m glad he tells me those things that he knows would make him look like a loser in my eyes —although they don’t… kind of—, because I know he doesn’t know who he is. I don’t want him to be just what I would like him to be, I want him to be free to be the person he is and wants to be. The fact he tells me these things, even with his cheeks burning bright, means he is somehow trying to stay true to himself. That’s why I don’t tease him —too much— when he tells me those things.

And whilst Liam watches Batman: The Dark Knight Rises, I’m trying to write a new song. I promised Janet that I would come back with a few songs for the new album, so I have to keep my promise. When the girls found out I came here to be with Liam, the teasing didn’t stop. I received so many messages that I was about to throw my phone at the first person I saw. I don’t even wanna know what they will say in my face when I go back. And now that we’re kinda official… I shiver. It’s going to be tortuous. But Liam is worth it. If bearing with constant teasing and mean comments is all what I have to do in order to be with Liam, then just bring it on! I can handle so much more than that. That’s nothing in contrast to the things I’ve already done. And I have him, and Liam makes me stronger, he even makes me believe I can be worth it sometimes. Of course I can handle all that and more. So much more.

“Are you writing a song about me?” Liam asks and I laugh. I know he is not serious about the question and his tone is also playful, so there’s no room to doubt that, but still, it’s so funny.

“You know I would only write a song about your six pack, right?” I tease him and he sighs as I keep strumming the chords and trying to find a new melody. “But if you really wanna know, I’m writing about Ray. A song for Ray,” I tell him seriously and he moves, pausing the movie and coming closer to me.

I look at him and his eyes show pain, the same pain I constantly feel in my heart because Ray is not close to us anymore, and he is alone in another city. “How is he?” Liam asks me.

“I called him today when you were on stage. He is fine, but he hasn’t made any friend yet. He says the orphanage is not bad, but he misses home. And he asked me for his dad.” I sigh deeply because it’s always hard when he asks for his father. “I miss him, you know? Terribly. And all I want is for him to have the best life he can and I’m so scared they won’t allow me to adopt him.”

Liam takes the guitar from my lap and takes me by the waist, pulling onto his lap and I immediately look for shelter in him, hiding my face in the crook of his neck as my arms wrap around his body. His hands rub my back and I hear him cooing.

We all know that it’s almost impossible they will let me adopt Ray. I’m still so young, I’m a bad figure, I have no parents to support me. I don’t even own a place with a room for him! But I have to try, at least I can try. Liam also knows it’s impossible and that’s why he is holding me so tight.

“But we can, at least, try to make sure he gets the best. And if you can’t adopt him, maybe a great family will. Like mine, you know? A family that will be so happy to have him, a family that has been dreaming to have a boy like him all their lives!” He says and he starts to get excited at the idea.