Masquerade (Liam Payne)

Chapter 9 ~ Liam

Chapter 9 ~ Liam

Why does it seem so easy for them to mess with us? No matter what they say, the laugh at us. I don’t mind that much now, I’m laughing myself. No one is exception, nor even themselves. They mock each other and Emma even calls Tammy boy, which now makes me understand why she calls us lesbians so easily. Oh well, used to do it.

Since I met Tammy a few weeks ago already I thought she hated me. I thought she had a problem with me or that maybe I was the problem, but today I realised that she has nothing against me or anyone in particular. She just treats everyone like that and she has no problem if you’re the same. I believe she expects that, to be honest. But today I also realised of something else and that is that she doesn’t hate me, in fact, I believe she likes me somehow. Not the I’m-falling-for-you kind of like you but the you’re-not-bad-maybe-we-could-be-friends like you. And I know this because she stood up for me… sort of.

“Hey Tammy,” Emma calls Tammy when she is trying to teach me her solo in More To Live For but it’s too difficult for me. “Can you leave your girlfriend there and come for a sec?” She asks and I don’t take offense in the fact she is calling me a girl again. I’ve learnt it’s inevitable. But Tammy does seem to mind, I notice how she goes serious and looks at Emma reproachfully.

“Okay, that’s enough. No need to call him girl. Noob, *NSYNC wannabe, but no girl anymore,” Tammy answers and I can’t believe what I’m hearing. Is she really defending me? Is she really asking Emma not to call me a girl? I don’t really mind that Tammy calls me noob, I guess I accepted it already, but being called a girl or lesbian always hurts my male ego. “I mean, look at these boys, they all must have a dick.” Cue to his words, everyone looks at our crotches. I’ve never felt so observed in my life and I have the urge to cover myself with my hands. “See? There’s something there and I don’t think it’s a pair of socks,” Tammy motions to my crotch and I feel my cheeks burning bright. “So no lesbian anymore, okay?”

Although everyone’s eyes are on my crotch, I feel confused and glad at the same time. On one side, she will not call me a lesbian anymore, nor will her band mates and that is great. She asked them not to treat us like that and I like she did, it means there are boundaries now, that the offences won’t get that far. But I’m confused by why she did that. Emma calls her boy, rude and even drunk monkey. Emma has made fun of everyone and her words always sound more hurtful than everyone else’s. Maybe because she is really tall, she looks more powerful and mighty. Yet Tammy asked her not to call me girl because I am not, because I’m a guy. Why did she do this?

I look at her, expecting her to look back at me with the answer I need. Is it because she really likes me? Is it because she sees it hurts when they call me lesbian? Is it because she cares? I want to know, I need to know.

“Oh, okay. No more lesbians then. So, can you leave your boyfriend and come for a sec?” Emma asks, mischief clear in her smile and voice and Tammy only raises her eyebrows and shakes her head as she approaches her band mate while I can’t stop staring at the lead singer, seeking for an answer.

“He is not my boyfriend, for Fuck’s sake!” Tammy complains and I wonder why her band mates tease her with me. Has she talked about me? Has she told them something? I don’t think it’s only because of the date, I’m sure I haven’t been the only guy Tammy has dated recently. There must be something else and I want to know.

A little smile spreads on my lips as I realise how many questions flood my mind when it comes to Tammy. She is so different, intriguing. Her actions are never clear, I can’t really read through her masks and she fills me with curiosity. Everything she does makes me wonder why. Tammy Rodenhizer –hell yeah! I learnt her surname!– intrigues me like nothing nor no one has intrigued me before. She is like a puzzle I can’t decipher yet I can’t just push aside. I know for sure she is more than what she looks like, there’s so much hidden under her rebel image and rude attitude and I want to know all those secrets.