Unpredictability of Love

When I Screw Up

When Tyler called me, I had reached a junction in the road, I could either take left and go home directly or take a right and visit the grocery store. I chose the most obvious route for a bad day. Talking to Tyler while shopping for food hadn't been a smart choice, I almost told the store's janitor to go and fuck himself in the closer - it was for Tyler, but the poor janitor was standing in front of me.

Yeah, it was an eventful visit. I sighed in relief once I was out of the store and on my way home, already stuffing the food into my bag to sneak it past the dragon at home.

"Em, are you even listening to me?" Tyler shouted, making me jump and almost drop my bag.

"Yeah." I said.

"What was I talking about, then?"

I frowned as I considered it, what would he be talking about?

"You were talking about the bad effects of junk food?" I guessed.

"Nice guess." He said grudgingly.

I smirked. "So, I was right?"

"Yeah, yeah, but you and I both know that it was just a lucky guess.

"But I was right." I laughed.

"Yeah." He sighed. "So what's up? What're you upset about."

"What makes you think I'm upset?"

"You're buying junk and sneaking it home, probably risking your mom's wrath. You never do that."

"Actually, this is not the first time I've bought a bag of chips, so it doesn't mean I'm upset."

"Yes, but you only do it when there's no one home and there's no chance of getting caught, at this time, your mom's going to be home and you're taking a big risk." He concluded.

I sighed, Tyler knew me a little too well. "Fine, I'm upset."

"And?" He probed.

"I hurt someone today."

He snickered. "Who? The janitor?"

I laughed. "Nah, someone else, it was pretty bad. I was such a bitch to him."

"Ooh, it's a boy is it? Someone special?"

"Yeah." Well he was special in a way, without him, my article would have no authenticity. "Not the way you think though, I don't like him or anything."

"I thought you were done being nice to people. And what do you mean you were a bitch to him? You're always a bitch."

I ignored his jab at me, calling each other names was normal for us. "Yeah, I'm done pleasing people and stuff, but I was really mean to him."

"Who's this guy?"

"You don't know him." And I wasn't going to tell him either, I wanted to keep writing a secret.

"So, a stranger." He guessed.

I smiled in amusement - in a way, he was right about Ethan being a stranger, Tyler knew everything about me and if there was someone in my life he didn't know, they were as much strangers to me as they were to him. "Yeah."

"So, basically, you're eating shit and screwing up your health because you hurt a stranger you've never met before. Correct?"

"Yeah." Well, he was partly right.

"I don't see why you're so upset about being a bitch to some stranger, you're always a bitch to me."

Anyone else would've taken offense to that, but Tyler and I had our own language, calling me a bitch twice today wasn't even slightly disturbing. "I'm not upset about hurting him, I'm just really disappointed with myself."