The World Through My Eyes [My Poem Collection]

Oh, The Guilt

A few days have passed, 

It feels like it's been years. 

Waterfalls have been falling, 

Still they are called tears. 

I close my eyes and see, 

A smile so little but bright. 

I see you take my hand, 

And say it's all alright. 

I open my eyes again, 

But you are no longer here. 

You are an illusion, 

Telling what I want to hear. 

I start crying heavily again, 

I want to hear different words. 

Tell me it's not my fault, 

Because this hurts. 

If I was awake that time, 

I could have run to you. 

Throwing away the blade, 

And pulling you through. 

I blame myself for your death, 

I know it's not logically. 

But I can't escape myself, 

Drowning psychologically. 

I dry my warm tears, 

Wanting to hear your voice. 

But you left us all behind, 

It was your own choice. 

Why does that knowledge hurts, 

Even more than it should? 

I always take everything so bad, 

But nobody ever understood. 

The guilt, it's killing me inside, 

And your smile is forever blank. 

To think this all started simple, 

When they pulled that prank. 

Days keep passing by, 

I expect you to walk up to us. 

I know it's insane talk though, 

I should stop making a fuss. 

But when I close my eyes, 

I see you taking my hand. 

Breaking free thoughts, 

Thoughts I had banned. 

You always tell me it's all okay, 

Telling me you have no regret. 

It hurts because I don't want to hear it, 

I am still blaming myself in secret. 

Night after night I see you, 

Wishing you'd tell me it's not my fault. 

You made our healing wounds worse, 

And my tears keep pouring the salt. 

I hate you and hate myself, 

Because I shouldn't hate you at all. 

Maybe I am mad at you for leaving, 

For you surrendered to your fall. 

I know the feelings you had, 

But am I despicable for being mad? 

You wanted us to cry so much, 

And you, you were just glad. 

When I see you tonight, 

I'll tell you to stop smiling at me. 

Please, let me see you cry, 

I might be able to let go to some degree. 

I need to know that you miss us too.