Chapter 35
Kimberley didn't say anything to me as she guided me back too our dormitory. Her arms was securely wrapped around my waist, protecting me, but I felt as if she didn't want it to be there. I had gone against my word and I knew I had upset her by doing so. I shouldn't have done it, but Sarah had made me so angry that I couldn't stop myself from hurting her.
When we arrived back at the dorm, I escaped out of Kimberley's grip and ran to the bathroom, locking the door behind me. Sitting on the floor with my back against the door, I brought my knees up to my chest and hugged them tightly, resting my chin upon them. There was a knock on the door, followed by Kimberley's soft voice.
“Chezza, open the door?” It was more of a question than an order.
“No.” I replied, my sobs making it come out muffled.
“Why not?”
“Because you're mad at me and I've disappointed you.”
“Babe, come out of the bathroom so we can talk about this. I'm worried about you, so please, come out.”
“I-I can't talk to you.” I cried as I shook my head even though she couldn't see it. “I-I've upset you and I can't look you in the eye and talk about it knowing I've done this to you.” I heard Kimberley sigh from the other side of the door and then I heard her rummaging around the room, knocking something over in the process. “K-Kimba, what are you doing?” I sniffed, rubbing my wet eyes dry with the sleeves of my blazer. I didn't get a verbal reply. Instead, a piece of paper and a pen were slid under the door. I recognised Kimberley's writing on it straight away.
'You didn't want to talk, so we don't have to. Write to me instead x'
'Smart b*tch x' I wrote neatly below hers before sliding it back under. I smiled when she began laughing at my reply.
'That's why you love me ;-) x'
'Very true Walshster, but you probably hate me now... x'
'Don't be silly babe, I could never hate you xx'
'But I hit Sarah, even though you told me not to? x'
'I know, and I'm disappointed that you did that, but I don't hate you for it xx'
'Why are you so good to me Kimba? xx'
'Because I love you lots xx'
'Love you too, lots and lots and lots and lots and lots xxxxxxxxx'
''Hmm... is the Tweedster actually admitting to having feelings? Oh my god, we better call the news reporters! You're cute, I love you lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots xxxxxxxxx'
'Sarcastic b*tch. I'm cute? No you're cute babe, ever thought of being a comedian? You're so funny these days ;-) xxx'
'These days? Don't think so babe, I'm funny all the time :-P … and calling me a b*tch is rather offensive don't you think? Tut tut Chezza xxx'
'Yes, you're hilarious (by the way, I rolled my eyes at your comment) and you were rude to me last night, so I think we're even now xxx'
'Ha, I could imagine you doing that. Now, are you going to come out the bathroom so we can talk? xxx'
'Nope, I'm too busy building the bomb that you still haven't finished, you're such a slacker! xxx'
'Maybe you should be the comedian! Well, my a*se is getting sore from sitting here so I'm going to go and lie in my bed xx'
'That means you'll stop sending me notes :-( xx'
I waited for a reply, but I never got one. Frowning, I got up from the ground and unlocked the door. Opening it, I found Kimberley lying in her bed, smiling and waving the piece of paper in her hand at me. Returning the smile, I walked over to her bed and sat on the edge of it.
“Come and move up closer.” Kimberley said, patting the empty space she had left for me.
“You sure you want me to lie next to you?” I asked, still slightly nervous that she was still upset with me because of everything that had happened.
“Right you,” She sighed. “Come here and let's talk about what has happened.” Nodding my head, I climbed into the covers and placed my arm around her so she could cuddle into me, like we always did.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
“... and then I was just about to leave and she came in and I couldn't help myself.” I finished explaining my story to Kimberley. “I'm sorry.” I added quietly when she didn't say anything. “Please, tell me what you're thinking.”
“I don't know what I'm thinking.” She sighed. “I'm disappointed in you. I thought that for me, you would be able to stop yourself from attacking her like that. Do you know how scary it was for me? I was coming to find you so we could have our snuggle session and when I get to Nadine, Nicola and Sarah's dorm I find my girlfriend attacking another girl.”
Knowing that as well as breaking my word to her I had scared and disappointed her, made me feel even worse than I already was. “I'm sorry.” I apologised again. I didn't know what else I could say or do to make her feel better.
“I know you are.” She replied quietly. “Would it be okay if you left me alone for a little bit? I just want some time to think.”
“Sure.” My voice was just above a whisper. Slowly I unwrapped my arms from around her and slid out of her bed, climbing into mine. I watched as she turned on her side, her back facing me. I knew she needed time to think about it all, but it hurt seeing her like this. Even though she told me she still loved me, I still felt as if some part of her hated me.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
It had been an hour and it was already driving me crazy. We were both lying in silence, her back was still to me. I tried to find a distraction, but I couldn't. I just wanted Kimberley to let me cuddle with her again. I heard my phone beep, signalling I had a text. I reached over to the bedside table, picking up my phone and opening the text. It was from Nicola.
'Really really bad news babe! Sarah's gone to the headmistress about all of this... she wants to see you first thing tomorrow... you could get suspended, or expelled for this! :-( She's gonna interview me and Nads too so we're gonna try and help you as much as possible. Talk to you tomorrow, love ya xx'
Sh*t. Never once did I think Sarah would go to the headmistress on me. There was no way I was going to be able to lie my way out of this one. I had hurt Sarah and there were probably marks to show that. Nadine and Nicola were both there too and I don't expect them to lie for me. Either way, the chances of me getting expelled or suspended are very high considering all the trouble I have caused in the past.
What would this mean for me and Kimberley?
If I wasn't here, would Sarah start bullying her again?
Would she find new friends?
Would we have to break up again?
Would she replace me?
All these questions were running through my head and I hated not knowing what was happening. I couldn't take it any more, getting up from my bed, I walked back over to Kimberley's and climbed in, hugging her from behind.
“Chezza,” She mumbled tiredly. “What's wrong?” Saying nothing, I handed her my phone. She took a few seconds to read and process the text before saying anything. “Everything is going to be okay, we can get through this... together.” Turning in my arms to face me, she leaned in and placed a soft kiss on my lips. “I promise.” She leaned in again, capturing my bottom lip between her own, in attempt to help me forget about everything that was happening.
