In Search.

14.

I had arrived in Paris, I went back to my old apartment and many voice mails and letters. A local paper wanted to interview me about the catacombs and how I journeyed to Las Vegas to help a paranormal show. I could feel my throat burn and my stomach churning. I responded to their voicemail and gladly accepted. I had shut off from my time in Vegas, I deleted all the crews numbers and tried to forget about Zak. I send him love and forgiveness, I knew what I did was wrong but Zak didn't need this I was fucked up just like me. I huddled by myself in my bed crying, I couldn't stop it came flushing down my face, the tears where burning my eyes. I couldn't sleep, I went through my bag and finally turned on my phone. There they where missed calls, messages, voice messages and emails. All from Zak and a few from the guys. I couldn't bare reading them I knew what they said, but I couldn't help myself and read my most recent message 'I'll search for you, I'll find you.' My heart sank, the guilt filled me up. I threw my phone across the room and heard it smash, just like my heart crumbling and shattering into shards that will pierce my body forever.

Two months had flown by and I was busy dealing with work and doing interviews with talk shows. I was joined by a local news show and Ana (talk show host) was discussing my work, we had a giggle then she started to ask the questions that change my face "So how was Vegas? With the miraculous Zak Bagans, I heard on the great vine something juicy happened?" She crossed her arms and held a delightful smile, I sighed and bowed my head down. I felt a tear suddenly drop, once that ran down my cheek it was like the domino affect; it call came coming. The camera focused back to Ana "We'll take a short break" the commercials went, Ana comforted me. "Love? Everything okay?" She patted my back and held back my hair, "I fucked up. I seriously fucked up. I'm a fucking mess and I probably fucked him up by leaving!" I stood in range, and started to fondle with my clothes "I'm sorry Ana, I must leave!" I ran out the building, I hit the fresh air and was relieved to have some space. I rubbed my head and headed home, I walked by myself and came across the pub I met Al and Brock in. With my head all messed up I went inside and had a drink... well a few.

I threw them down like I was stuck in the Sahara dessert and I had found my jack pot of water, the alcohol was washing away the memories of Zak. I turned to a man who was wasted, half asleep and who had been listening to me babble on "You know I thought he loved me. I thought hem would have tried to find me but nope Mr lead-me-on-then-push-me-away is a liar. I love him and I'm so fucked yo!" I went from anger to an emotional wreck, the stranger held me in his arms. His scent was familiar, I pulled away and it was Brock. "Hello Ray." His eyes focused on my and his smile turned into a smirk. My whole body froze, I thought he was lost I don't understand "What! Let me go!" He held me against my will, he came and whispered to my ear "I thought I had lost you. We are gonna go, we're going for a walk down memory lane." He held a knife against my high thigh, I raised my chin and started to shaking. I mouthed okay and left with him, we pushed through the crowd and I had shouldered into a man. His touch felt familiar but I couldn't see him, he kept walking than disappeared. Brock pushed into his car and off we drove, down the familiar road. He was taking me back to the catacombs.

We stood in the empty street in front of the entrance, you couldn't hear a sound everyone was asleep. I saw a car pull up but no one got out, I assumed he had people follow us in case I did a runner "Alright in! Now!" Brock pulled my hair and threw me in the catacombs, I started to cry. I was too drunk to stand and I obviously wasn't in the right mind frame for this. "What do you want me to do!?" I stood myself up and tried to collect my thoughts, "You left me to die. Now I'm going to let you die. You're gifted Ray and you need to be stopped." I took a few steps back and the tears started to flow, he was going to kill me. Brock was going to leave me until I died of dehydration. I tried to swallow but it became hard and I started to freak and couldn't catch my breath. "Please Brock. No!" He stood there laughing and held the keys to lock me in. "I will tell people you tripped and died. But I will tell your Zachary the pain I caused you." He looked so serious, "Well tell Zak I loved him. With all my heart, tell him I remember the past. Tell him maybe in a new life we'll be together. It might finally be the right time."

I knew Brock wasn't going to tell Zak that but I wanted to say it out loud. I closed my eyes and tried to suck the fresh air one more time. "The right time is now, Ray!" Oh my god! It was Zak. Zak had came to me, he found me.