Is Love Enough

Chapter 42

72 HOURS LATER

"Adam, you need to eat" Bob pleaded with his son, the plate of scrambled eggs and toast remained untouched in front of him.

"Can't" Adam said softly, rubbing his hand across his chin the stubble scraping against his palm, "not until I find Kim" dark circles under his eyes and he was drained emotionally and physically.  He couldn't bring himself to look at Nicky or his mother in law, he had failed them and Kim.

"Adam, when they find Kim she's going to need you" Bob placed his hand on his son's shoulder, "you won't be any good to her if you don't take care of yourself, son"

He watched as Adam quickly wiped his eyes with the back of his hands and nodded, bringing a forkful of eggs to his mouth.

"Thank you" Bob whispered leaning down to kiss his son's head, "She's coming home, I know it"

Erin slammed the phone down, exhaling as she leaned back into her chair, her frustration was reaching a level she wasn't sure she could handle. It had been seventy two hours and they had dick.

"That last lead" she told the group pointing to it on the whiteboard, "Was nothing" her voice cracking, she glanced at her feet her lip trembling, "I'm scared.." She finally admitted, not many things scared her and it was a feeling she wasn't used to.

Jay pulled her into his arms, "Hey, we're going to find her. I promise you, it's just a matter of time"

Erin pulled back from his embrace, "the longer this goes on...."

"Erin, don't do that" Al told her, he sat on the corner of Adam's vacant desk a framed picture of Kim and Nicky in his hands, "Kim's tough, she'll hang on until we can get to her" he chewed on the toothpick in his mouth. He set the picture down, "I'm gonna head over to Ruzek's , anyone wanna come with?"

Kevin rose from his desk, "I do" this was killing him, he desperately wanted to get his hands on Roman and kick the shit out of him, but finding Kim took priority.

The tray was pushed through the slot, "Breakfast" the voice called out.

Sean rose from the bed and took the tray, he picked at the 'food' the term obviously used very liberally. He was certain someone had spit or done worse to it, he'd only eat the items with a seal intact.

He hadn't heard anything about Kim and he felt sick. The guilt was almost unbearable, her face haunted what few dreams he had, though it was much worse when little Nicholas appeared in his dreams. That kid was the center of Kim's world, he'd never seen someone love as deeply as Kim did and he fucked her over.

Kim would have done anything for him, and this is how he repaid her loyalty.

He had seriously thought about offing himself, but he couldn't bring himself to do it, further cementing the fact that he was a coward.

A. Fucking. Coward.

Deborah filled the tub, "C'mon, Nicky" she called him, "ready for a bath?"

Nicky quickly changed out of his pajamas and climbed in, "My boats?"

She pulled the basket of toys out from under the sink, "here baby" she told him as she dumped them in the tub.

Nicky played with the toys, carefully filling the cups and promptly dumping them laughing as the boats sunk under the water and quickly popped back up.

She couldn't help but smile at his innocence, he was doing a helluva a lot better than the rest of them. She had barely slept, only finding sleep after taking a sleeping pill the last few nights knowing someone needed to sleep in order to care for Nicholas.

Adam was a mere shell of himself, gone was the goofy grin that graced his face nearly 24/7, she knew he wasn't eating and sleep? That was a joke, he'd spend most of the day at the 21st and coming home after Nicholas was in bed.It was clear he was doing all he could to avoid his little boy, she knew it would be too much for Adam to bare.

"Where's mommy?" Nicky spoke, his eyes trained on a toy octopus as he pushed it down under the water.

Deborah pushed her sleeves up and leaned on the edge of the tub, "Oh, baby" she said as she stroked his cheek, his skin similar in color to Adam's it became a beautiful caramel color in the summer, "I wish I knew"

They hadn't told him much, unsure of how to even explain it.

"Is she gonna come home?" His eyes meeting her's, "will daddy?"

Adam stopped outside the bathroom door, "I'm here pal"

Nicky looked up from the octopus that had him mesmerized, "I want Mommy" his eyes welling with tears.

"Can we have a minute?" He asked his mother in law, she stood up and went to leave. Adam pulled her into his arms, "I'm going to find her and bring her home" he said softly as he kissed her cheek, she reached up and touched his cheek.

"I'm counting on it" a smile filled her face but failed to reach her eyes.

Adam sat on the side of the tub, reaching for one of the boats, "I'm sorry I've been at work so much" he pulled the string on the boat propelling it towards his son, "Mommy loves you, you know that right?" Struggling to keep his emotions in check.

Nicky smiled, "I'm mommy's favorite boy" his eyes twinkled as he spoke of Kim, "is she sick?" he tilted his head to the side.

Adam groaned, "No, buddy she isn't"

"Where is she?" He sat on his knees his arms on the side of the tub, "with Aunt Erin?"

Adam ran his hand over his head, "Mommy is....she, your mom" He struggled, unable to  find the words, "Nicholas, I don't know where she is" he finally admitted, "but I'm going to find her and bring her home"

"Pinky promise?" He held out his tiny pinky, it was their thing. He'd made hundred of 'pinky promises' with his son, none of them as serious as this one.

Adam nodded as he took his son's pinky in his, "pinky promise" he said softly, pulling his son from the tub, wrapping him in a fluffy cotton towel.

"I love you daddy" Nicky said into Adam's neck.

The words like a dagger to his heart, "I love you too buddy and so does Mommy"

"Al, Kevin" Bob greeted them welcoming them into his son's house, "Adam's just finishing up Nicky's bath" he told them, "make yourselves at home, can I get you drinks or something?"

"We're good, thanks Bob" Al spoke for them both, "How's Adam holding up?"

Bob shrugged, "About as well as could be expected. Have you found anything? What about that son of a bitch Roman? Has he given you anything?"

Kevin felt his stomach turn at the mention of Sean Roman, the man owed his life to Adam and this was how he repaid him.

Al leaned back, "He gave us some names and we're working on getting their last knowns and tracking them all down"

Nicky came tearing down the hallway, a grin filling his face when he spotted Kevin, "Uncle Kevin!" He yelled jumping in Kevin's lap, "My daddy doesn't know where mommy is, do you?"

Kevin felt the wind leave his lungs, "I wish I did little homie, but we're gonna find your moms and bring her home to you" he kissed the little boy's head, "I promise you"

"Thats the van? The one from the BOLO?" He asked as he looked it over, pointing his flashlight at it, "it is right?"

His partner nodded, "Think so." He used his nightstick to break the passenger side window and reached inside and unlocked the door, the smell almost knocking him on his ass.

"Shit, we got a body" he brought his hand to his face to ward off the smell of the decaying flesh, "Son of a bitch"

"What?"

He hung his head, "White female, matches the description of Ruzek's wife" he offered, "we need to call Voight"