Shadows

Chapter 12

(Nialls POV)

I woke up on the couch with the picture beside me. I must have dozed off while thinking about her. I felt a lump start to form in my throat but I swallowed it down and ignored the feeling.

I got up and placed the picture back where it was.

~

The cool shower rain sent a shiver up my spine and woke me out of my daze. I closed my eyes and started to think about Ray. She was so beautiful and cute and adorable. How could I have someone like her in my life? How did I get this lucky? I don't deserve her...

I don't. 

 I'm not a good person and I lost one of the most precious things in my life. How do I know I won't loose Ray as well...

She deserves better.

~~

A couple days later I got a text from Ray.

*Hey, you okay?*

*Hey yeah, I'm good.*

*Oh okay, well what have you been up to?*

*Nothing*

*Oh, okay*

I needed to talk to her. I needed to tell her that she shouldn't be with me, that she should be with someone else. Someone who knew how to treat her right. Someone who wasn't me.

*What are you doing?* I asked

*Reading*

*Cool, can I come over?*

*Yeah, come now.*

~

"Hey," I said as I walked into her room. She looked up from her book and smiled at me,

"Hi."

She sat up in a pretzel style and patted a spot on the bed beside her, motioning for me to lay with her. I shook my head and shoved my hands in my pockets. She tilted her head to the side and cocked one eyebrow up in confusion.

"Erm...we need to talk," I say and she stiffens.

"Okay..." she says, reluctantly.

"Uhm well...I think that you should know that you deserve to be with someone else, someone better than me," I say and shift my gaze towards the floor.

"What?"

"Raylin, you shouldn't be with me..."

"Why not."

"I'm no good."

"I think you are."

"Yeah because you don't know me!" I say, getting angry.

She stands up, walks over to me and grabs my hands. I look down at them and she says,

"I want to though..."

I squeeze my eyes shut, shake her hands off and back away from her.

"You don't Ray, you don't..." I say trying to stay calm and reason with her.

"Look, if this is about the little girl I don't care...you don't have to tell me..." she says and looks at the ground with her arms crossed.

"IT'S NOT ABOUT HER!" 

She gasps and backs up. I run my hand threw my hair and let out an exasperated breath.

"Ray..." I say more calm, "You don't deserve someone like me and you don't want to know me..." She crosses her arms and sits back down on the bed.

"Well, you're wrong Niall. You're wrong," she says and looks away from me.

I sigh and walk over to her.

"Ray..." I say trying to be comforting.

"Look are you gonna break this off or what?!" She snaps.

"I'm telling you to break it off!" I shoot back.

"What??" her voice cracks and I instantly feel like shit

"Ray! You don't deserve me! You deserve better..."

"Do you want to end this?" she whispers.

"No," I say quickly, "of course not, but-"

"but nothing," she says and stands up. She walks over to me and wraps her arms around my neck.

"Ray..." I warn.

"Shut up," she says and crashes her lips on mine.