He's Really Not That Bad

Everything

*A/N: I'm sorry for the wait. This was a difficult chapter. It has some anti-God talk in it. So be warned.*

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"Lucifer." My voice was cold and emotionless. I turned to face him and stared. Just looked at him. I watched him shift uncomfortably. "You need to start explaining. Now. So far, I've gone along with all of this blind. Now. I need to know now."

He sighed and turned from me and sat on the side of the bed. He put his head in his hands and stayed quiet for a moment. I wouldn't let my walls down but I felt them crack then I saw how upset he is. I sat on the other side and waited.

"It all started with an idea." He muttered. "Just a silly notion that wouldn't go away."

"What-" I started to ask.

"NO." I jumped and he turned to look at me, frustration flaring in his eyes. "You want to know?" I nodded, frightened by his sudden anger. "Then let me talk. I need to go back to the very beginning."

He seemed to calm down and deflate. I watched him open and close his mouth, trying to speak. His eyes were shut and he seemed to be struggling. I reached my hand out to touch his shoulder, but pulled it back when he started talking.

"I was an angel. In a perfect world. No devil. No hell. Just heaven or limbo. Neither option was horrible. I was content. I served my Lord. And he loved us all. It was a great life." He humorlessly chuckled. I stayed quiet and let him think. After a moment he took a deep breath and continued.

"Then I really started to look. I looked at how he treated the humans. He loved and accepted. His main foundations appeared to be all about forgiveness. Sin and forgiveness. Those were his pillars. He took the most basic human flaws and made them sins. He wanted his 'sons and daughters' to be perfect. Flawless. But humans are flawed. There is nothing they can do about that. So he 'forgives' them for the things they cannot help. It's like sending someone to court for having red hair. It's all genetics."

He rubbed his forehead and sighed. I felt bad that this is so difficult. As if sensing my regret, Luke grabbed my hand and held it. I was thankful, and it seemed to give him strength.

"It seemed sick. He seemed to get His kicks off people begging him for forgiveness. He loved the worship. He wanted it. And when people got sick and died, people refused to believe it was Him. They wanted to beg him for help, and when he did nothing, they would try to find something else to blame. Nowadays, they blame me for all the evil and pride Him for all the good. He has a huge ego." I smiled, but it was a cynical smile. No humor.

"The other angels followed blind. But some began to pay attention to his strange ways. How he craved the begging, got his strength off of worship, and mainly how much he desired perfection. Back then and even still to today, heaven was spotless. Untainted. Perfect in every micro detail. And he expected the same for everything else. He created the humans and punished them for being flawed. He was angry that they were not perfect. He supposedly created them in His image. But after he saw their basic curiousity, he all but disowned them. Let them go without help. He lets them spiral out of control and refused to do anything. Heck, he once killed off the whole planet because he was unhappy. But people only see Noah and his family. God must be good if he let them survive. He just got rid of evil. But people never see that the supposed evil is THEM. PEOPLE ARE EVIL. ALL THE BAD THEY SEE IN THE WORLD IS THEM." He let out a ragged breath and squeezed my hand.

"God holds them at such high expectations, who can blame them? They are feed to believe their most basic human qualities are sins and they must be this unattainable perfection. He sets them up to fail, so then he feeds off their pleas for forgiveness. Sure, he gave them life and created the world. But since then, he helped a bit. He got his kicks off meddling and burning bushes, but where is he now? Where has he been? He ignores them. Gave up. But he still feeds off that prayer to him. The worship. The only difference? Me. People can blame all the bad on me. And He gets all the credit for the good. Back then, I was still ignorant, but I couldn't help but see the facts. I attempted to speak to him, but he has too big of an ego to take advice from a mere angel. I tried to make him see his error. Try to see his creations cannot be perfect. I was speaking for the people. I supported them. All the miracles in the world? The angels. That's how guardian angels got started. We did all the dirty work. We saved people. We kept His creations alive and happy. He just sat there and took the credit. So I got aggressive. I got more voices to back me up. Even Gabriel supported me. But that coward backed out and wouldn't leave his Lord." Luke sneered. His eyes looked distant, as though he was lost in his memories.