Shikamaru has a Sister?

Weasel and Sushi

I turn back to Kakashi and Kurenai facing Itachi, but suddenly Kakashi copies Kisame's Water Style Shark Bomb Jutsu and his clone uses it against him to protect Asuma. 

I help Kurenai stand up. 

"Okay, talk. What's a rogue ninja like you doing in this village?" Kakashi demands, putting a kunai to Itachi's neck. 

"Let me handle this, Kakashi. 

"Yuukina..." says Kurenai. 

"Long time no see, Itachi Uchiha. Not since the visit to the Hidden Cloud. How've you been?" I ask the Uchiha. 

"Fine. You look a little bit out of commission, though, with your arm."

I ignore his comment. 

"Your little brother Sasuke. He's a good friend of mine. His hair looks like a duck, did you notice?"

"I pay no attention to Sasuke's hair. Why are you here?"

"I could ask you the same question. I'm here because I have been asked to train a certain ninja or two."

"Is it Sasuke?"

"No. Sasuke never asked me. Some friends of his did."

"Which friends?"

"Ooh, nosy are we? Well, I'm not telling you. Don't even give me that excuse about an older brother wanting to know his little brother's friends thing. I'm not buying it."

I first met Itachi on a mission in the Hidden Mist Village. We met again in the Land of Rice Paddies, and we fought whenever we met. There was never a clear winner, just friendly sparring. 

"That's how you copied my jutsu. So there really is someone besides Itachi with those crazy eyes. You're Kakashi, aren't you?" asks Kisame. 

Well, no shit. I said his name like five times and you heard. Idiot. 

 "Well, you can imagine my surprise, I go to check out some lowlife vagabonds in the tea house, and I find none other than Itachi Uchiha and Kisame Hoshigaki. The scourge of the Hidden Mist Village."

Hehe. Vagabonds. 

"How about that, you know my name." Kisame says. "I'm honored."

Yeah, idiot. You told him yourself. 

"I assume that bizarre excuse for a sword is one of the seven swords of the Hidden Mist. The one called Sharkskin?"

Hehe. Sharkskin. 

"Haha. I heard that you and Zabuza had it out a while back." Kisame says. 

"Yes. We did." Kakashi holds a kunai behind his back, and Kisame lifts his sword. 

"Go ahead. I'd love to cut you to ribbons."

Hehe. Ribbons. 

"Kisame. Stop it." says Itachi unexpectedly. "If you take this man on, it won't be without cost. Furthermore, you will take time. And the commotion is liable to bring more shinobi running. Your way is inefficient, and unnecessarily risky. Don't lose sight of our goal."

"Let's hear your little goal, then, Itachi." I say, as Kakashi's shadow clone dissipates. 

Everyone is silent for a few seconds.

"We're looking for something, and we know it's here."

It's either Sasuke....

"What is this thing you're looking for?"

...or Naruto.

"My way is more...efficient than Kisame's."

"Water Style, Water Wall!" Kakashi yells, doing hand signs. 

"I do not wish to fight you, Yuukina. Stay out of this. I will talk to you later."

I snort. 

"Who the hell invited you? I on the other hand, was invited into this village by the strongest shinobi you will ever meet."

Itachi's water pillars slam into Kakashi's water wall, the impact getting everyone soaked.

But it's not the real Itachi. It's a shadow clone. 

The real Itachi has snuck up behind Kakashi, and stuck a kunai in his back.

But it's not the real Kakashi. It's a water clone. 

Instead, Kakashi is under the water, greeting Itachi with a kunai from below. Kurenai picks up a kunai, and Kakashi jumps out of the water and pulls her back. 

"Get back, Kurenai! That one's the shadow clone."

Hm. I might just sit this one out after all. 

A wave of water crashes over the two jounin, and Asuma's worried. 

"Kakashi! Kurenai!" he shouts, jumping through the water wave to help them. 

I sit on the railing, half amused, half hungry.

Hm. Watching other Jounin fight makes me tired...tired. Wait. I wasn't tired before Itachi came, so why am I tired now? No. He can't have-

I turn around to see the true Itachi and Kisame standing behind me, Itachi already putting me under some kind of genjutsu, Kisame just standing there. 

Oh, no big deal. I'll just release it. 

I try to lift my right hand up to meet my left, but I can't move it. It's stuck. 

Damn genjutsu, now I can't even release it. 

The last thing I remember is me falling off the railing, and Itachi's sharingan staring through my soul. 

God, I'm so dumb...