Alec POV
That morning was like how nails on a chalkboard sounds like. Unnecessary and cringe worthy and horrible. That morning was the morning in which Magnus had to leave on a one year trip to see the world and become a professional artist. No matter how much I wanted to go with him, the person he was going with, a girl named Cat, said either he comes alone or not at all. We had argued for weeks about it but I knew I couldn't stop him and I wanted Magnus to peruse his dreams, to be happy.
"Morning." Magnus says, sitting up in bed and rubbing his eyes with one hand while feeling sound the other side of the bed with the other, only to find nothing but cold sheets and an empty pillow. "Alec?"
"Over here." I say from the kitchen where I was half way done with my second cup of coffee and grabbing another one for Magnus.
I had given up on trying to stop him and accepted that he was was going to leave for a whole year. One. Whole. Year.
Twelve months.
Fifty three weeks.
Three hundred and sixty five days.
Eight thousand seventy hundred sixty six hours.
Five hundred twenty five thousand, nine hundred forty nine minutes.
All without Magnus and I'm already counting down the seconds.
He looked towards me and my heart dropped. His hair is sticking up in every direction and last night I made his take off all of his glitter so he could leave with a fresh layer of it. His face was so, natural, and it made him look so much younger. Well, younger than a twenty-five year old who wears more glitter than Beyoncé and dresses crazier than Lady Gaga. It made him look beyond adorable and this was the last time I was going to see it for a long time.
I sank into the bed next to him and handed him his coffee, knowing that he loves to have his first cup in bed and in turn he kisses the back of my hand still looking half asleep. I was going to do everything in my power to make this morning be as painless as possible, for the both of us.
He drank the coffee in small sips and I lay back on the pillows, gazing up at him before he can fully wake up.
"Magnus?" I reach up and brush his bare back with my finger tips, drawing a pattern on it.
"Mhm." He hums into his cup. His eyes lose some of their grogginess and his fingers tighten around the mug. "Oh, it's today, isn't it?" My hand dropped to my side while he turned and put his coffee on the nightstand and shifted to lay beside me.
"Yeah, it's today." I couldn't bring myself to look him in the eyes even though I could feel him looking into mine. He never stopped telling me about how beautiful me eyes are and about he can look at them for the rest of time and still not want to look away.
He brought his arms around me and pulled me up against his chest and I brought mine up around him to try and get as close to him as I possibly could. Memorizing every inch of him. The curve of his back, the exact shade of his skin, the way he smelled, the way his arms fit perfectly around me, the way he seemed to shine even without any glitter.
"I'm going to miss you." He said against my hair.
"Me too." I said and dug my face into his chest, not wanting to think about it.
As painless as possible.
"Make sure to text me every hour and call me every day and lock the door at closing time and get up before the shop opens and," he pulled away just enough to look down at me. "Don't forget about me."
"Never." His phone rang with the alarm for him to start heading out. It will be the sound that will haunt me for a long, long time.
He reaches over and turns off the alarm and I start to untangle myself from him, only to be pulled back down and hugged so tight that I though my eyes were going to pop out of their sockets.
The next hour was a blur of movement and I found myself staring at Magnus as he opened the door to my shop, one foot on the side walk, and the walls have become so much smaller than I remembered.
He wedged his suitcase in front the door to keep it open and kisses me with all the longing and loneliness for days to come. Tears sting the backs of my eyes but I will them back. If he sees me cry, he is going throw this whole trip to hell and I can't let him give up his dream just because I'm going to be a little bit lonely.
I've been alone for all of my life, what does a year have on my entire life. I can handle this. I can do this. I am strong enough to get through this. I am completely able to get through this.
The kiss was over all too fast and his cab showed up out of thin air and he was like lightning as he shoves his suitcase out of the door and into the trunk and as he fumbled to get the cab door open, tears spilled down his cheeks and I knew this was as hard on him as it was on me. He finally got the door open and entered the cab and it shot off down the street.
I was alone. Again.
I crumpled to the floor, have the sense to lock the door on the hands and knees and to move to chair that Magnus always sat at. The tears didn't stop for hours and by the time they did my voice was gone and my eyes were puffy and red.
Magnus was gone. For an entire year. This was such a bad idea. Why didn't I stop him?! Sure I've been alone for years but now that I know what's it's like to love and be loved. The store felt so hollow and so cold.
He was gone, just like everyone else.
But he's coming back! I just have to wait. Wait for Magnus and he will come back. But will he still love me? Will he meet someone new on his trip? Someone who he knows is better than me?
Will he come back? Or will I be waiting forever for someone who will never come?
