Right Now

5. It's all right you know

Feeling like I might throw up, I scrolled back up to the top of the page and read through the story.

Ladies' man Harry Styles has been linked to yet another model. The One Direction heart-throb looked to be getting very cosy with Scottish model Ilona McClusky at a fashion fundraising event last night, and left the function with the flame-haired beauty.

The pair were seen walking hand-in-hand out of the London restaurant where the star-studded gathering was held, and snuggling up to each other in the back of a car.

Ilona (22) has modeled for Burberry, Henry Holland, Victoria Beckham and Stella McCartney, among others. Originally from Aberdeen, she now divides her time between London and New York.

Harry has been associated with a string of gorgeous models, including Nadine Leopold, Kendall Jenner, Paige Reifler and Georgia Fowler.

A source says, "Harry can have his pick of girls, and frequently chooses stunning models - and why wouldn't he? But this is the first time he's been seen with a redhead."

Another insider says Harry and Ilona spent a large part of the event, held by designer Henry Holland in aid of his cancer charity, huddled together in a corner talking. They also danced "provocatively", says the source.

"They only had eyes for each other," says a witness. "And when they left, it was like they couldn't get away to be together fast enough."

I finished reading and took a deep breath. Was this really damage control, or something more? If he was trying to convince people that he had really hooked up with a stunning model, then he was doing a bloody good job.

I closed the story and went back to my messages. Nothing from Harry. Shit. Against my better judgement, I typed his name into Google and saw that several other websites had photos of him and Ilona. There were even more on the Daily Mail, and the two of them looked even closer. In one shot, in the back of the car, he looked like he was kissing her neck. As I scrolled through them I felt overwhelmed by despair.

The line about them dancing provocatively particularly struck a nerve. The way we'd danced together, pelvis to pelvis, on Saturday night had felt special. But obviously he had a habit of shoving his groin up against anyone and shaking his groove thing.

I knew it had all been too good to be true. Why would Harry Styles be interested in someone like me when he could have Ilona McClusky? They'd clearly hit it off. He must have gone home with her for the night. No wonder he hadn't attempted to get in touch with me that morning.

So that was it then, my little encounter with Harry Styles was over. Just as well I hadn't told anyone other than my mum that we were, as he put it, "getting to know each other better", because I'd feel like a right idiot now. This "thing" between us had lasted all of four days.

The disappointment weighed heavily on me, and trying to ignore an intense urge to burst into tears, I quit Google and put my phone on my bedside table. Across the room, Phoebe was beginning to stir in her bed. I got out of mine before she woke up and noticed that I looked upset. She might only have been nine, but she was pretty good at picking up on people's emotions. She still didn't know about me and Harry - I didn't feel like explaining to her now what had happened.

I grabbed my bathrobe off the hook on the back of the door and headed down the hall where I found, to my surprise, that the bathroom was free. With five people in our house and just one bathroom, that was a rare occurrence, especially first thing in the morning. I locked the door behind me, went to the loo and turned the shower on.

It wasn't until I stood under the stream of water that I gave into the emotions threatening to swamp me, and allowed the tears to flow. This was the second time since I'd met Harry that I'd cried because of him. I wasn't usually the sort of girl to weep over a guy she hardly knew, but then Harry Styles wasn't just any guy.