letters to a crush

letter 2

it's funny but stupid how you
want everything and nothing at
the same time. it's crazy
when you want to let go but
you keep holding on. and when
you want to move on but
you're stuck right where you
started.

- anonymous -

--•--

i want to let go.

i want to move on.

but it is there.

taunting me.

tainting our every interaction, stealing my breath, confusing my lips.

can you sense it?

i pray not.

if you can, know this:

i don't want this either.

i've tried letting go.

but i don't know how.

i've tried moving on.

and i almost have.

but then i see you.

every part of you, wonderful to my love-crazed eyes.

and i realize the futility of my struggles.

i struggle and fight and cry out in vain.

"it's no use!" i tell myself.

"it's no use!"

but still i try.

every day.

forcing myself to look away.

forcing my thoughts to dwell on others.

but my eyes shift back.

my thoughts circle around.

and you're there again.

and i don't want you to leave.