A Cold Day in December

A Cold Day in December Chapter Fourteen

A Cold Day in December

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Completed version xD

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CHAPTER FOURTEEN

THE JACK IN THE BOX

Sometimes, it only takes a little harmless spark to change the meaning of your life in the most drastic way there was. A tiny jolt of electricity that could send reverberating waves of feelings and emotions that would turn your perfect snow-globe world upside-down, scattering both glitter and mud all over the place 'til they settle down, only to be turned again in the future. A truth as ugly as the bitterest of storms.

But, as storms go, we could choose to run down the basement and lock ourselves to safety. No. Storms were never little. So we end up enjoying the tiny drops of rain pouring slowly down the blue sky. A drizzle. Harmless. Soft to the skin. Then we find ourselves already caught up and drenched in it, altering the definition of everything we see. As we danced under the drizzle, with our eyes blind to the world, the storm had taken its place in the firmament. Already too late to run. Deception took advantage of our innocence and trust. We had lost the war without fighting. Deception followed by destruction, even in the dictionary.

"Eriol Mayfair." My mom's voice pierced the quiet of the living room brimming with pitying sadness and melancholy. My chest tightened. I looked up, with so much difficulty, from my downward gaze, the incompleteness of my response as broken and sorrowful as a wandering ghost. “What is it exactly you're running away from?" The vacancy all present in my eyes was met by the severity in hers.

My dad sighed loudly. I didn't bother looking at him when somehow the red and gold of dusk in its full glory outside the glass window was a more captivating sight. I loved every New York sunsets. The red ball of glowing fire that seemed to hide and playfully peek behind the skyscrapers was urging me to come outside and chase it before it completely disappears down the horizon.

Chasing and running away. What was I doing?

Silence reigned as we pondered the question. Mom sat straighter and crossed her legs, collecting her thoughts. Conjuring a way to handle the situation in a fashion she only could summon and put in motion. Dad looked like he was praying, his forehead stenciled with lines so deep anyone could tumble over. I, on the other hand was a vessel with nothing but fear inside. Pandora's Box with hope escaping together with all the world's miseries, trapping fear inside my body before it could even reach the lid.

Maybe I was chasing and running away at the same time. I had no idea myself of what I was doing until now. Until the question was brought out in the open air. The air, it made me spin round and round in dizzying speed.

"This thing," my dad intoned while studying me intently, "is going to have serious repercussions not only to you, but to all of us."

I nodded, feeling myself burn with the electricity and sparks consuming every inch of me. The storm, it came. My snow globe, fractured, the water trickling out to emptiness to the last droplet. From the the list of possible outcomes, failure seemed to be the wisest choice to make.

"The problem with you, Eriol, is that you are-" she stopped, appalled by the passion in her voice and flexing muscle.

Wearily, I asked. "I am what?" Fearing of the truth that was about to come out of her mouth. Times like this one always made my mom honest. Bitterly honest.

She was about to say something but for my dad's hand resting on her knee to keep her in check. "What do you think you should do?" He inquired with sincerity. 

I considered my spur of the moment plan. Justifying it over and over again in my head. It wasn't so much of a plan but an escape route. Something that could probably work for us all. I tried to void myself of any emotion, failing miserably in the process for an immense wave of sadness of everything I would be losing invaded my spirit. No. Not the things I would be losing but the dreams and possibilities, irrelevant trifles I called dreams, slipping out of my grasp like sand. Just like that.

Ruining somebody else's future and life for my selfishness. It wasn't fair. The world was an odd place to live in. Fairness, a legend for foolish people. In this world, in my lifetime, it didn't exist.

Backing away from certain things and people. From guilt inducing feelings. Complete detachment from all that could affect me in any way. I needed some space to breathe. A time for myself. The tiny jolt had brought me this far. Maybe, just maybe, in order for me to be perfectly happy, I had to free myself of everything that meant so much to me. The very few things that meant so much to me. Not because I didn't care anymore, but because I had to.

Steady gaze. No tears. “Take me away from all that I am," I answered with a feeling of painful constraint. "For good."